Here to vent- advice wanted about relationship
I’m a SAHM with a 1 1/2 yr old and very pregnant. I went back to work for a few months, a couple of months ago, but I’m back off on my maternity leave and won’t be returning to work as that’s what’s best for our family. I have a long history of disliking his family. My husband is a business owner of a business that’s growing. Most of his days are very stressed which I get. I try and help him when I can, sending emails for him, responding to messages, usually when he asks me to do something in his office / order things i can do it. I also manage our rental properties. He spent a lot of time at home this winter with our child while I went back to work for a few months. Now he’s back to working like crazy, and is working 4 hours from home. Yesterday, his last day at home before going on the road, we had a fight. We don’t fight too often. He was working around the house getting stuff ready for him to work away, I was trying to help a bit but it’s quite hard with a toddler. I also wanted to get some stuff done as I need help most of the time now as my body is tired. I would ask him to help but he would say he’s busy and now’s not the time. So I just ended up taking my toddler and myself inside for the day. In the middle of the day he would come in, ask me to make him lunch, I didn’t. He then made a comment about my body, didn’t sit right with me. He came back in the house a few hours later trying to think things were okay, I wasn’t having it though and left again. Hours later he had finished for the day. When he came in, I said I needed a break and left to my room and locked the door. He called me a cunt and said I don’t help. And said this is how we are spending our last day together? (He spent the entire day outside getting his stuff ready???) I ignored it. A little past and my toddler was calling for me, they both came. He asked what the problem was, I didn’t feel like saying anything. I was just kind numb to the situation, I’m exhausted, ready for him to be gone almost. I told him to just go as I need a break. Things escalated, he called me lazy, he said I’m a SAHM there are no breaks, I didn’t pack his bag for him, apparently I’m a mooch? He brought up he put more of a down payment on the house down.. things went on. I simply tried to leave in my car, he wouldn’t let me. He told me I needed to change or he thinks we might split up. I was crying, he was starting to as well. Again while all this was happening I didn’t have much to say. I did let him know I wouldn’t be in contact with him this week as a break is definitely needed. No energy to fight or get into things, just done. Some time past I went back and just went to bed. We ended the night, nothing more was said, he left his morning saying “hope things get better for you”.
We have a stupid joking relationship that a lot of people wouldn’t understand, / lots of women wouldn’t tolerate. It’s hard to explain. We also don’t do anything together really, no date night in 2 years.. my husband has hobbies he does the odd time he gets the chance, any chance I get I do some self care or have a bit of a social life for myself. I know it’s a phase and once our kids are older things will be different.
Why am I so numb? I feel like I know I shouldn’t be talked to this way. It makes me sad for my kids. But on the other hand I do know I can help more, it’s just hard right now.