u/GrandmaD-4

I went into anaphylaxis March 4, 5, 14, 15 and last Monday. I’m talking ambulance, epi, hospital….the whole thing. I had never had anything like this happen before and it is terrifying! I am seeing an allergist and they really have found no cause. I am on Zyrtec, Xyzal, Pepcid twice a day, montelukast and my 3rd round of prednisone. I was on Rhapsido for a few weeks but had severe epithelial bleeding. I got a double injection of Dupixent last week and I get my next injection on May 13. Since the anaphylaxis, my lips, tongue and throat burn all the time. 24/7. It feels like thousands of fire ants biting my mouth. Nothing stops it. Please help. I don’t know what to do. All of this is ruining my life.

You guys…..I got the apartment! I am moving this weekend!!!!!

I filed for divorce today!! It felt like a great big relieving “fuck you” to the narc. He doesn’t even know yet. Please pray that the apartment I looked at becomes mine. I am not comfortable being in this house. I know it will not be easy, but I am excited to find myself again and live in PEACE. Stay strong and safe, friends ❤️

Friends….I have 2 apartment viewings today and an appointment with my attorney. I need a place so bad. Please pray, hope, cross your fingers!

He got drunk last night and raged all night long. He kept waking me and my son up to scream at me.

He is asleep on the couch and evidently not going to work. I am afraid of what today will bring. The verbal/emotional abuse is escalating.

Locked me out of the home twice.

Drove recklessly with my child in the vehicle on at least one occasion to avoid being late to a baseball game.

Engaged in repeated instances of driving under the influence, including the night his father passed away, minimizing the risk by stating, “No DUI, no big deal.”

Left me unattended at the hospital for 12 hours when his mother broke her hip, returned intoxicated and attempting to drive, nearly colliding with a parked car.

Left me at the hospital after I went into anaphylactic shock, citing work obligations and returned smelling of beer.

I asked him to put his dirty clothes in the hamper to which he said, “Fucking ask me again” then threw a hamper and mixed the clean and dirty laundry.

Humiliated me in front of his family by telling them the hamper story and laughing on Thanksgiving then also told them I take Xanax because I am crazy. (His words)

Slammed doors and exhibited aggressive behavior while I attended to my father while he was dying.

Set alarms to wake me, then becomes angry when asked to turn them off, escalating to door-slamming until I cry.

Locked me out of the bedroom and removed personal photographs from walls after I attended a musical on a Friday night. Then accused me of coming home at 4:30am. It was 11:15pm.

Took my child for a haircut without prior notification. He would not tell me where they were until I threatened to call the police. and allowed my child to get lightening bolts shaved in his head before Easter.

Threw a beer at me on one occasion.

Stole my debit card, which he denies.

Possessed a contact labeled as “Sexyy Sonji” in his phone. I looked her up. She is an escort, which he denies.

Frequently watches pornography at night while rarely engaging in sexual intimacy. When I asked if he thought I was pretty, he said, “You are pretty but you are not porn star pretty.”

Disrupted a family Christmas gathering by locking himself in a room after my 3yo grandson had a tantrum, resulting in my children leaving upset.

Carries condoms and viagra in his work bag.

Engaged in extended silent treatment and blocked my number because he thought I hung up on him when in reality, the call dropped.

Attempted to get a 20ish adult female to join him in a VIP concert area while visibly intoxicated, resulting in intervention by security; got angry at me for not buying him more beer.

And then he wonders why I am so angry or sad. These are just the things I can remember off the top of my head over the past few years!

If you have kept up with my story of never-ending psychological, emotional torture, then you know I am trying to escape. Wins this week include a friend co-signing a loan for a car and securing free, decent living room furniture. Losses this week include my apartment falling through and going back on the hunt for a place.

Narc has started his smear campaign. He has called his family to let them know how awful I am. I knew this was coming…no surprise.

We discussed our imminent divorce. He tried the circle jerk loop again. He told me I broke the marriage because I have severe trust issues. Of course I do. He has tried his best to break me. During the course of our marriage, I ended up $60K in debt. He is sitting on a pile of cash. He offered me $5,000 just to “walk away”. I have already spoken to an attorney and I know I am getting way more than $5K. Money is the only place I can hit him where it hurts. I have been through hell. And after it is over, I plan to take a vacation on his dime.

I am hurting…not gonna lie. I have cried a river of tears. I love him. I valued our marriage. He told me last night that he thought it was funny that he could do things to me and I didn’t leave. He actually laughed!

I will get out. I must get out.

Stay safe, friends ❤️