I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, and I just need to vent. Please don’t try to force positivity. nothing is going to make me feel better right now. I’m hearing to much of it from my family.
Before the wedding started, I was actually calm and excited. about 30 minutes beforehand, guests kept coming into the room I was in to take pictures even though I didn’t want anyone to see me before. Every time I asked someone to leave, someone else would come in.
Then right before the ceremony, I looked outside (it was an outdoor wedding) and saw the groomsmen already down by the seating which is not what we planned at rehearsal. They were supposed to walk from the reception venue down the wedding. Somehow, my husband and the groomsmen ended up walking down the aisle early from 5 feet behind the isle because they saw my maid of honor walking… but she was actually going to get them, not start the ceremony. She couldn’t turn back, and everything just spiraled.
I had to walk down the aisle without my veil or dress being fixed. There were other small issues during the ceremony, but honestly, I was willing to forgive all of that and move on.
Then it got worse.
During pictures, my maid of honor disappeared and didn’t help me with my dress or veil at all. The photographer gave us zero direction. No posing help, nothing. We had already agreed to take photos with both sides of the family, but he acted annoyed and only took one quick picture of each side.
When we got to the reception, the plan was for everyone to be inside having drinks and playing games while we finished photos. But instead, half the guests had already started eating. The ceremony was only about 15 minutes and photos were less than 30, so we were only about 45 minutes into the whole event.
When we sat down, I realized no one was in their assigned seats and my parents and grandparents weren’t even near us. At that point, everything hit me at once and I was trying really hard not to lose it.
We ate, and I started to feel a little better, but then I was pushed to cut the cake early because my grandfather (who has dementia) had already eaten some dessert. The photographer clearly wanted to leave, so we rushed through the bouquet toss and did a fake send off where we drove around the block. We made it clear we were coming back to keep celebrating.
When we came back, people were already cleaning up. I thought, okay, maybe they’re just clearing plates and we’ll move tables to dance like planned. I went to the bathroom for maybe 5 minutes with my mom.
When I came back, half the guests were outside, the tables were being cleared, and all of my flower arrangements had been thrown away.
I asked what was going on, and people said they were “cleaning up.” I said the wedding wasn’t over, but no one listened. My dementia grandfather, who can’t hear well, thought I was arguing with him and started ripping down ceiling decorations.
That completely broke me. I ran off crying.
While I was in the bathroom trying to pull myself together, he apparently started throwing things and got in my husband’s grandmother’s face. When I came back out, half the guests had already left.
We ended up asking my grandparents to leave and just cleaning everything up ourselves. When me and my husband went to leaving after cleaning up the car we were supposed to leave in was gone. (For context my grandparents own a lot of cars and planned on lending us one for our wedding the “send off car”. They drove a different car to the venue)
We spent so much money on this wedding, and it lasted maybe two hours. I feel sick thinking about how much money was wasted. I didn’t even get to keep anything no flowers, nothing to press or remember it by. Which is probably good it was literally horrible.
I feel like I’m in a nightmare I can’t wake up from. I can’t stop crying.
And to top it all off, my hair got so matted that it took me, my mom, and my sister three hours to detangle it. Now I have large chunks missing out of my hair.
I’m married, and I love my husband, but I’m so hurt. I don’t even know what to say when people ask about the wedding, I go back to work on Tuesday. I can’t force my self to be positive.