u/Gotthatboss2072

I never thought in a million years I would be one to say "I want an actual friend in real life" recently about 2 months ago me and my ex broke it off after almost a year, a year where I was treated like shit by her family and did everything to get her out of her bad situation because thats what "she wanted" so I finally get her out and me and her start living together, however one day she says she wants to go home.

We were in an interracial relationship, im a white male and she was a black female. However I was constantly being judged by her parents for my skin color and that im an atheist. However with all the bullshit going on with that I stuck by her because she meant the most to me and I wasn't gonna let her parents treat me any type of way so I just ignored it. We talked every day about how I was gonna finally get her out of there and then we could be together without having to go through her mom for everything.

Anyways she eventually decides she wants to go back home so all that we talked about and all the things I did to make it happen meant absolutely nothing. Im now single and for the past two months I've been convincing myself that im fine but eventually that mindset runs out and you face reality. The fact is I am lonely, I've never been this lonely before and im not a people person. However i just want a connection with someone so bad but it's just not happening. I have anxiety and was diagnosed with depression at 11, im currently 20, she was my only girlfriend I ever had, now im stuck here. Im not wanting her back im just lonely, I want a connection again I want to have someone to talk to in person that understands me. I guess I'll take it a step at a time.