Probably a very niche question. I was adopted as an infant and we were told my birthday was one day. I recently found my birth family, and was told my birthday is a different day. Now that I know this, I want to celebrate my birthday on my actual birthday in real life and also in animal crossing. Is there any way to do this without resetting the game?
I was adopted in 1994 by American parents. Back in 2016 I did 23andme and didn’t get any close family matches for an entire decade. Last Thursday I got a message saying I had a sibling match in the database. Brian and Lan from DNAconnect have been facilitating our reunion, and I’ve been able to talk to my birth family members through WeChat for the past week.
The good parts: I’ve finally gotten answers to questions I’ve had for forever. I know my family medical history. I’ve been able to see pictures of my parents and siblings (the family resemblance is crazy!). I learned that my reported birthday and finding day were completely falsified, and now I know when my real birthday is. The information has been overwhelming at times, but at the same time I’m so happy to have it. I’ve greatly enjoyed talking to my siblings and we all have so much in common that I’m both surprised and unsurprised. I don’t feel “more whole” than I did before but my soul feels more settled, if that makes sense.
The downsides: I feel like I have to be very careful about what I share with my biological parents. Unfortunately my adoptive mother was very abusive, to the point that I cut off contact with her a few years ago. My birth parents have already expressed guilt and regret about how I came to be up for adoption in the orphanage and I don’t want them to feel more guilty, so I’ve been very vague about my adoptive parents. I know I’ll tell them eventually, but it’s hard to decide when to disclose that information.
My adoptive family also hasn’t reacted well. When I told them I knew they were bound to have some mixed feelings about the matter, as did I, but my sister in particular seems like she’s struggling with adjusting. There’s a whole complicated history that’s too long to put into a reddit post, which I’m sure factors in to her reaction. I’m trying to be understanding of her feelings, but at the same time I’m not sure I fully understand them.
At the end of the day I’m very happy to have found them. Getting to know them has been a highlight of my life, and seeing my birth parents’ faces for the first time is a core memory. They have all been incredibly accepting. The biggest thing I am sad about is how my adoptive family is reacting, but even then I hope they’ll come around once they’ve had time to adjust and process this information.