Grieving a living parent because of their untreated bipolar
I’ll begin by mentioning that I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar type 1 with psychotic features, which was initially diagnosed as unspecified psychotic disorder. It’s obvious that I’ve inherited it from my mother and her side of the family, due to evident severe mental health symptoms that run rampant but undiagnosed.
My mother’s untreated mental illness almost killed her the other day and she still doesn’t believe she is unwell, despite how luckily she is to be alive without minimal symptoms. It was a stroke caused by a complete occlusion of her interior carotid artery. She compared it to just having a bruise on her brain and it’ll just go away. Believe it or not, it’s likely not her stroke causing that confusion, she just operates like that.
This didn’t happen because of drinking, smoking or substance misuse. It happened because she has entirely neglected herself and her mental health, and there is nothing we can do about it without being abused. She impulsively bought property in the middle of nowhere, lived in a tent and then a shed by choice for over a year without basic things like water, and she was so far gone that there was nothing we could do about it. She got her house built a few months ago and her hoarding issues and squalor reached a level where this stoke was inevitable.
She told me that she will not let this get in the way of living how she wants. We’ve considered plans on how to get a psych assessment done, but she has spent her whole life perfecting the art of persuasion, so you wouldn’t have a clue until you randomly go to her house and see animal feces on almost every inch of her floor. Our family and I decided that due to her level of denial and delusion, all we can do is check in daily and essentially wait until something happens soon, especially considering if she lives long enough (approx a year) then she will almost definitely get vascular dementia.
I’m writing this almost as a cautionary tale because this has been a wake up call and a horrifying glimpse into my future if I don’t stay on top of my bipolar disorder. She is only 57 and we have no family history of strokes. It wasn’t drug or alcohol induced. It was caused as a result of her untreated mental health issues and she is too far gone for intervention. If she gets sectioned, she will never talk to me again which I’ve come to accept due to how severe her paranoia and combativeness has become. Our family have began grieving a person we all love who is still alive.
Please all take care of yourselves and check in on your family members. You may not be able to change them but you can still let them know that you love them and you’re just checking in.