Deciding if divorce is right, but the kids are holding me up
Wheat the title says.
My parents divorced when I was 4. My dad was very, very absent from my life and it took me a very long time to realize that.
I have a lot of trauma as a kid. The little boy who just wanted to be heard and seen never healed. I was robbed. A big portion of that is probably from my dad. He was a religious zealot and a raging asshole. He didn't care about my mom, and never tried. I cut him from my life and my kid's lives because he didn't bother to try. I don't want that for my kids.
But my wife is getting to the point where it's affecting my mental health. I have too tiptoe around her. I can't tell her how I feel or I'll be the one apologizing to her. It's not worth it to me anymore. I didn't ask to live in a sexless, soulless, one sided marriage where I do all the housework and actual money making and still somehow don't get any say on finances or how my own children are raised. It's either be miserable forever or put my kids through what I went through.
I need help and advice.