Im deeply ashamed. I didnt know I was capable of that whatsoever. He was lying to me about who this girl was he had been speaking to and was going to go out to eat with her. I found out while we were drunk and I looked through his phone. He admits it was weird and he shouldve been honest, but claims no cheating was going to happen. I believe him now, but i am still so hurt hed lie like that to me in that way.
He wouldnt tell her that I existed and I got so upset I pushed his legs in the car and had a breakdown. My very last relationship before him I was engaged and found out hed been cheating on me the whole time. This felt like being in it all over again but worse because I thought he understood how badly that hurt me and still chose to do it.
He broke up with me, fair. I still want to make it work. We spoke last night but he needs a week to talk to some people and think. I dont know why I still want anything with him after the lying.
I take full accountability for what I did, drunk or not. Im not going to drink anymore and im going to therapy because Ive obviously got some serious issues from that, and I dont ever want to be that person again. Weve both crossed the line in ways we cant take back.
I dont know what to do.