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I got angry with my husband earlier because he came home late again. He went to the gym with his friends at 9:00 PM and didn’t return until 12:00 AM, even though I told him to be home by 11:30 PM. Initially, I asked him to be back by 11:00 PM, but he explained that one of their friends arrived late, so I adjusted it to 11:30 PM.
When it was almost midnight and he still wasn't home, I called him. I reminded him that it was already 12:00 AM and he had missed the 11:30 PM cutoff. I told him he wouldn't be allowed to go out next week because he overstepped the boundary. He got annoyed and told me to "shut up." I went silent because I was deeply hurt. I feel like he prefers the company of his friends over mine.
### The Context: 8 Years of Long Distance
I just arrived here in Canada from the Philippines a week ago. I want to spend time with him because we were in a **Long Distance Relationship (LDR) for 8 years**, but I don’t feel like he’s excited to be with me. After he gets off work, he plays volleyball, and then he goes to the gym. It’s always the same circle of friends.
We had an argument earlier where I expressed how I felt, but his only response was: *"Why did you even marry me if you have so many problems with me?"*
### The Emotional Gap
I have changed so much of myself for him. I used to be very expressive, but he is "nonchalant." Because he never reciprocated my expressions of love, I eventually got tired and became nonchalant myself.
* **Lack of Effort:** He refuses to join my friends. If he does come along, his lack of interest is obvious.
* **The "I Don't Care" Attitude:** His response to almost everything is *"I don't care,"* so I’ve gotten used to staying quiet because talking leads nowhere.
* **Social Media:** In our 8 years together, he has never posted me or even featured me in a story. His excuse is that he "isn't into social media," yet he does it for his friends.
### The Breaking Point
Earlier today, we went out with his friends, and I mirrored his behavior—I showed zero interest. This became a point of contention. I told him, *"When you do it, it’s fine, but when I do it to you, you get angry."* I truly feel like he loves his friends more than me. A few days ago, he asked to stay out until 2:00 AM. We fought because it was too late. I told him to be home by 12:00 AM instead. He did come home, but he was angry and resentful. He claimed his friends were getting upset because he couldn't hang out as much anymore.
> **My Dilemma:** He is so concerned about his friends' feelings, but he doesn't seem to care if I’m angry or if we fight. Am I just being dramatic, or do I have a right to be hurt? Is it wrong to be angry that he keeps coming home late when we’ve finally ended our 8-year distance?
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PS. I had it translated and fixed with AI so you guys could understand it better.