u/Good_Maybe8605

I need to vent about something that might sound silly, but I’d really appreciate it if you tried to see it from my perspective.

For context: I was born and raised in South America. I’ve always loved studying languages and different cultures as a hobby. I’m self-taught and fluent in four languages. About two years ago, I decided to start learning Arabic, it felt like a bigger challenge, and I also have a personal connection to it. My grandparents were Lebanese, but the language was never passed down. I’d love to visit someday and meet relatives who still live in a small village there.

Since then, I’ve tried to immerse myself in the language and culture. I cook traditional family recipes, watch films, listen to music, read poetry, all of that. From the beginning, my husband has made jokes about me “trying to be Arab” even though I’m Latina. At first I laughed along, but over time it started to bother me because it kept happening.

I’ve never claimed to be Arab or anything like that. I just want to learn the language and the culture, the same way I did with French and English. I’ve explained this to him, but it hasn’t really changed anything. It’s gotten to the point where I avoid studying around him.

Yesterday, we were watching videos together and one came up of a black girl (around 5 years old) crying because she wished she were Native American. He laughed and pointed at the screen and said, “That’s you.” I got really upset and left to go for a walk and started thinking: if a man studies Mandarin or Japanese history, he’s seen as intellectual/curious. Why does it feel different in my case?

It might sound small, but after all the repeated jokes, it’s starting to feel disrespectful, maybe even slightly sexist. For example, he has Italian ancestry. If he decided to dive deeper into that culture and language, I can’t imagine myself constantly making fun of him for it. I don’t make fun of his hobbies. Honestly, I wish he saw this with admiration instead.

He did apologize this morning, but I’m still upset, don’t want to talk and now I feel discouraged from sharing parts of my life with him, which doesn’t feel right in a marriage.

Does my reaction make sense? Am I overreacting?