Why do men think they will be a good father to theirs sons?
Question mostly aimed at attractive, socially successful men:
I’ve noticed that a lot of men who openly talk about “spinning plates,” multiple girlfriends, side chicks, etc. also confidently say they’ll be amazing fathers someday. These are often men who are attractive, successful with women, make good money, and care a lot about legacy. They talk about teaching their sons hard lessons, building toughness, sharing skills, and preparing them for life.
But I rarely hear them talk about the less glamorous parts of fatherhood: emotional consistency, patience, sacrifice, showing up during tantrums, sickness, boredom, conflict, or the day-to-day labor of raising children. That part often seems implicitly delegated to the mother.
What confuses me is that many of these same men don’t seem particularly strong in interpersonal relationships generally. They struggle with commitment, not just sexually, but with sustained emotional investment, time, and prioritization. Some avoid marriage entirely while creating fractured family structures. They also often don’t appear especially community-oriented, family-oriented, or deeply invested in friendships and celebrations for others.
So why do so many men who struggle with consistency and relational investment still assume they’ll naturally become great fathers? Is fatherhood being imagined more as mentorship and legacy than as emotional labor and everyday care?
Seems to me they will likely drop the ball as fathers too. As they don’t seem to value relationships with anyone particularly well. Let alone with women. They just want her as a bang maid.