I (F25) was planning a girls trip with two of my friends, lets call them Sarah and Debbie, (both F26) and three other girls that are friends with Sarah.
This has been in talks for the last 4 months or so. The amount of people going kept changing, it was four of us at first, then it was down to just me, Sarah and Debbie, then Sarah's three friends changed their minds saying they can actually come now. So for months it was just a plan we talked about, where we would occasionally look at places to go but nothing was ever set in stone.
About 3 weeks ago before my birthday, I had to help out my family financially quite badly. For context, I was planning on using money I had saved up to pay for this holiday as my basic salary covers all my expenses most months. I had about £1.5k in my savings and the holiday was looking to cost around £500, no more than £600. I had to help my family out in a sudden medical financial emergency as I was literally the last resort, and it set me back by about £1.2k. As soon as that happened, I informed my two friends that my financial situation had changed massively and I was now at a point where if we were booking a holiday (because I wasn't sure if we actually were due to the plans changing so much from the extended friends we didn't really know) that I would need to check my finances before agreeing to go away.
Both Sarah and Debbie had said it was completely fine that I needed to check over my finances before we booked a holiday and that was that. After I had confided in them, that same day, us three then went out for drinks as a belated birthday celebration for myself, and when we first got there I was replying to lots of messages on my phone. While I was on my phone, I remember hearing Sarah and Debbie discussing the holiday. I specifically remember Sarah mentioning that it needs to be booked asap as we were looking to go away soon in August, and its now mid April at that point. Debbie turned around and said she doesn't care where we go and that Sarah should just book a place and Debbie will send her the money. Now I didn't remember this conversation too much until after (context as to why will be provided later), because I wasn't in this conversation as I was busy on my phone. I joined in the conversation when I was asked if I would prefer 5 days or 7 days and I said 7. Sarah then said to both Debbie and I that she would speak to her friends and then we can get something booked. So naturally I took that as she would speak to the friends me and Debbie don't speak to, to get everyones opinion and then when we've all decided where and are happy with the days, that we would all get it booked together. I feel like that's a normal thing to do, check with everyone before booking?
I then went radio silent for a week dealing with the family crisis, lots of hospital trips etc, and so I wasn't on my phone much. The group chat between me Debbie and Sarah hadn't been checked the week I was in and out of hospital seeing family. I checked it the other day when things had finally calmed down, and I saw messages from two or three days earlier that Sarah had fully booked a holiday. I hadn't received any personal messages or phone calls from Sarah the entire week I was away from my phone, and obviously Sarah and Debbie could see that I hadn't read any of the messages in our group chat that entire week, and yet she still went ahead and booked a holiday.
I nicely explained in a message to them that I really would have hoped someone would have reached out to me when booking it fully because they both knew I hadn't messaged in our chat for a week. I explained that I literally told them I would need to review my situation before agreeing to a holiday when they finally found one they were happy with, and yet Sarah still went ahead a booked it without even trying to message me or call me to say that they were booking.
I would have rather them booked without me completely because I hadn't replied in the group, instead of just booking on my behalf without any communication.
I have explained to them that the money I have had to lend out for family, I won't be able to get back in time to pay off this holiday and that that is the whole reason why I asked for them to discuss it with me before booking. I was told I would get it back relatively soon but didn't want to commit to anything unless I had the money physically. After seeing the messages that it had been booked, I spent the tire day talking to my family to see if there was a way possible this could be paid back to me in time, but sadly it's not possible so I explained that to Sarah and Debbie in my message.
Sarah is now trying to say that when Debbie gave the all clear to book on her behalf, that I also said the same thing at the table when we went out. However, like I said I recalled the conversation very clearly between her and Debbie because I was half listening when I was on my phone for about 15/20 minutes. I had also messaged them both the same day before we went out explaining I would have to check before booking that I can afford it, they both knew my situation.
I have stood my ground because I will not pay for a holiday that I wasn't even involved in the final decision in. I still don't even know what one she's booked because that wasn't even made clear either. However, because I value my friendships, I feel bad that I'm sticking my ground.
In my situation, what would you guys do?
AITA for refusing to pay for a holiday that I wasn't even told about before it was officially booked and that would strain me financially when they knew I had financial problems.