u/Gold_Improvement8007

I have quit many times. Always alone or alone and reddit. Today I went to my 2nd meeting. I attended online because this particular group is not in my area. It was so nice to see people. I imagine in person is even better.

If you are hesitant, just try it. There is a type of meeting for each person. They all don't require belief in a higher power.

Maybe I am full of shit but I have tried many times on my own and this time I'm doing something different. Maybe it is what you need too?

I am about 75 hours off 7!

Okay.So i'm not exactly sure how many times that i've withdrawn from plain leaf kratom and 7oh. I know i haven't had any plain leaf for about 2 years. I was on 7oh heavy for those 2 years.

I am ending a 2 week relapse after 10 days sober (with suboxone) which followed several months sober after a quit with subs. I was able to taper the subs super slowly and jumped at .025mg with no symptoms. Then a relapse. Then a 10 day quit then a relapse and here I am.

So for the past 2 weeks I have been using about 1000mg-1500mg daily (I was only going to use once! LOL).

So here I am taking yet another sick day for yet another day 1. In the past 24 hours I have had 8mg of suboxone and about 8g of plain leaf. I don't plan on taking more plain leaf. I am going to taper the suboxone like last time. I respect if you don't want to use subs but it has helped me tremendously.

Last night was horrible even with the subs. I had a dream about a woman I used to know and then thought how wonderful it would be to see her and in the dream I remembered that she is dead and woke with the worst anxiety and dread that subs didn't touch. The plain leaf helped with it.

This is just where I am. The mental is the worst.

Just some thoughts from a random smoke shop addict.