u/Glum_Feed1580

First off, I may be in serious need of a career pivot. I’m burnt out and having trouble applying meaning to this job anymore because I view it as so temporary and not building on anything for myself.
I love the life nannying has given me, due to the fact that I grew up poor… but I think now i’d tell myself to just take out loans and pick something practical.
Nannying feels oppressive and too traditional for me. In a world where women have the potential to do anything they want, nannying feels too demeaning. I get it, we’re getting paid to watch kids and not being forced to, but honestly I fell into this during school because I had no other option and it paid better than minimum wage jobs. Plus, i’m good at it. But i’m over it. This cannot be all that’s left for me to do in my life. I’m going to be stuck here if I don’t make a decision, and then I feel i’ll be failing myself and other women who wanted more. Let’s be honest, it’s hard work and most of us are underpaid. We deserve insurance with our jobs. We deserve to be viewed as competent. Women are dynamic and multi faceted- I want to live up to that. I value the importance of nannying, but I feel society doesn’t.

So idk if this is something everyone feels or just me, but I constantly feel like i’m up against the clock for things I want to do. I feel like everyone who has a job thinks everyone has the same 24 hours in a day , which is not true. I’ve been frustrated at some of my friends lack of ability to be understanding about this. For example, if you work from home and work 8-3, you likely have a lot more time to show up as a friend or family member consistently - esp if your job doesn’t have very much social interaction. I feel like a lot of people in my life want my time without recognizing that I am physically and mentally drained the majority of the time. I’m not trying to be selfish by not hanging out a lot or answering your calls, I need to regain my capacity in order to do so. I’m going into nursing and I’m worried i’m not going to have friends who recognize this. :( It’s not my friends job to be my therapist but I just wish people would stop applying pressure about expectations for showing up in certain ways in our lives when not everyone has the same amount of free time and mental capacity!

Is it bad I didn’t write a card or do anything? I’m with them all week and I adore them but we didn’t get around to doing it. Is it mandatory or just considered polite ? Ugh

Hi. I’m a 25F. Growing up, I was considerably bright and excelled at writing, english, and biology. Always awful at math. When i was a child, my mom always told my life trajectory and I felt motivated to achieve from a young age. I remember dreaming about attending an ivy league in sixth grade and I had the work ethic for it. However, as I started growing up, my mental health worsened. My home life was not great and my teachers wanted my parents to intervene for my mental health but they declined. I feel if I got treated for ADHD and depression, or at least was in therapy, I would have turned out better off.
The minute I got to college I felt empty. I felt like I belonged nowhere and I had a drinking problem amongst other issues. My original major was criminal justice.. I thought I wanted to be a lawyer. I procrastinated but still did well. A lot of my assignments were essays.
Then, I got kicked out for a semester due to my drinking issue that sent me to the hospital. I felt lost but was trying to get my life back on track. I started working out everyday and worked two jobs to try and earn my mom’s respect for me back. I got back to school and chose the major neuroscience to try and keep up with other asian kids. I still fell behind. I have a deep feeling of shame when it comes to school. It triggers everyone insecurity in me and I constantly feel like I won’t do well before I even have the chance to. I fall behind due to this anxiety and it affects my grades.
Now, I work 50 hours a week as a caregiver and am trying to keep up with school but I still feel this way. My gpa is a 2.0. I used to be a 4.0 student despite my poor mental health in highschool. I used to be better than this and now i’m a failure. I hate myself. My entire friend group are high achievers and I’m watching people fly by in success and i’m mourning this person I thought I was going to be.

Is the answer quitting school entirely and focusing on my mental health? I feel I need to get on ADHD medication and it will help a lot. I clearly have unresolved issues that keep coming up.

I guess i’m looking for peoples thoughts and validation. I realized i either am so fully burnt out from caring for people or i just don’t care about it anymore. i would care for a child for 8-10 hours a day and neglect my needs and then come home and listen to friends or family vent. i can’t do it anymore. i want to go back to school and study something completely different and WFH so everyone leaves me alone. There codependency in care giving. I have no clue who I an anymore.