My boyfriend and I will hit our 2 year mark in October. He started off pretty affectionate but about a month in it decreased significantly. I am very vocal about my needs since my love language is physical touch and he says he’s mainly opposed to PDA and it makes him uncomfortable. However, he assured me that if we or on vacation or alone it comes easier. I have yet to see a difference. We can lay in bed alone all day and not touch at all.
I’ve started to get used to it and we don’t have sex as much as we did we he was more affectionate and I’ve been ok with not being touchy and actually just enjoying our friendship and connecting on a deeper level through conversation and quality time. However, if he ever tells me he wants to be intimate (he usually just says it instead if physically initiating it because he hates foreplay) I get nervous because I know sex will bring back up those feelings of wanting to be touched outside the bedroom and our relationship has proven to be better when I’m not trying to be touchy feely with him. Now I’m genuinely anxious to engage in sex or to be touchy because I know it will stir up old feelings and even if he is responsive it is usually because I am sobbing and doesn’t last long.
Anybody else deal with something similar? If so how did you go about handling it?