I have been getting more and more insecure about this over time. We started dating 8 months ago and the problem started a month into the relationship. At first our sex life was fine and then one day when we had sex, he lost his erection in the middle of it so we stopped. I was offended and hurt and brought it up.
He then told me that he gets in his head because he saw how upset I was which makes him more self conscious. He also said he is not able to get hard whenever he gets self conscious. I can understand how him being self conscious can cause him to not be able to get fully hard sometimes. But still I can’t help but wonder if he just isn’t that attracted to me.
There have been times where we had sex and he maintained an erection throughout but here and there this issue comes up.
Is it a common occurrence that men sometimes lose their erections and get in their head too much? And is something wrong with me?
He also told me he never watches porn but once I saw his phone history and it had porn from the last month. I addressed him about it and he said he won’t watch it again.
I would like a man’s perspective on this. I just can’t help but feel insecure.
Also we don’t have sex often - like once a week at most. He also doesn’t initiate sexual intimacy that often unless he knows we can have intercourse (if I’m on birth control). I’m starting to dread having sex because I worry the same thing will happen again which makes me feel even more insecure about myself. TL;DR