I genuinely think the hardest part of dating for most men is conversation.
Not even flirting. Just the ability to walk up to someone you like and not mentally collapse.
I know because I used to be exactly like that. Back in school and early college, I’d like someone for months and never say a word. Not because I didn’t want to, but my brain would just start speedrunning every possible humiliation.
What do I even say? What if she thinks I’m weird? Should I ask Instagram? Number?.......too much pressure
So I stayed quiet. I was afraid. Ironically, what changed me had nothing to do with dating.
In my early 20s I started traveling solo, staying in backpacker hostels, talking to random strangers because… well, there was nobody else around.
Slowly I realized that conversation is a skill and dating conversations feel harder because the stakes feel higher. When you really like someone, suddenly every word feels dangerous.
Today this hit me again.
I was out with a friend who struggles badly with this stuff. We were at a cafe and I casually started talking to a girl nearby, then tried pulling him into the conversation as a wingman moment.
Bro froze instantly...like full system shutdown. You could literally see the panic on his face. Afterward he said...“I’m just not made for this.” and honestly… that sentence hit me harder than the awkward interaction itself.
Because I remember believing the exact same thing years ago.
What’s sad is that society treats this like something men should “naturally know,” but nobody actually teaches it. So people either learn through painful trial and error… or they give up and convince themselves they’re incapable.
Funny enough, I remember seeing a Reddit post days ago about an app where people could practice conversations/flirting to build confidence.
At that time I thought....It's bullshit.
But after today… I kinda get it now. Not as a replacement for real life, but just as training wheels for someone whose anxiety is so bad they can’t even start.
If anyone knows the app name, Please suggest me in comments. Also curious, How did you improved your confidence?