u/Glads0001

I suppose last Sunday a cousin of ours who used to live

with us, visited our home and my teen brother and teen sister let her in. I’m not sure of the details, but I didn’t see it as a big deal that she visited. On Monday when I got off of work, I found a huge nail filing block and my mom was wondering whose it was. I mentioned it may have been my cousin’s seeing as she visited on Sunday. My mom asks “she visited?” And I said “yeah I think yesterday.” I didn’t think anything of the conversation.

Tuesday morning arrived, and my mom immediately lashed out at my teen sister over text. She would say things like my sister doesn’t respect her as a mother, why didn’t she tell her that our cousin visited, that the “bitch” (my cousin) didn’t inform our mom of her visit, etc. I got really upset, because I feel like my mom takes out a lot of frustration on my teen sister and I think it’s unfair. I immediately texted my mom asking why she’s so angry with my sister for not telling her our cousin visited, when our sister thought our cousin told her. My mom immediately sent me multiple messages, telling me to be quiet, to not speak, and that she’s not my “bitch” to go against her.

I texted her saying I won’t speak then if she’s gonna get mad. She said she doesn’t care if I speak or not, and if it doesn’t convenience me to not speak, then don’t. She said hearing me makes her stay indifferent and that’s it’s my problem if I speak or not. I went to work, came back home, and sat down to eat. She immediately lashed out on me, saying I’m not the mom of the house, asking why I get involved in matters involving my younger siblings, and why I think I’m grown enough to go against her (I’m an adult, but I try to be reasonable when I talk to her). She immediately started guilt tripping me, saying her mom passed (she did, 2 months ago) and that she’s depressed and anxious. I don’t see how that’s an excuse to say mean things to me. She said one day when she passes herself, I’ll understand. But I told her I could be the one to pass first, nobody knows.

I think I’m just very upset at the fact that I feel like I’ve been the one forced for all responsibility of things. I’m the oldest child, I always excelled in school, I went to a top tier college, I took a break to help my mom with bills, and I’m still on said break. I swore into the Navy reserves because I’m trying to help my mom become documented with PIP. But during our argument, she said she doesn’t care to be fixed, she never asked me to help her, and that she can leave whenever she wants. But the whole point of me doing this is because I felt like she greatly influenced my life and I wanted to give this opportunity to her. I went to Guatemala in February and my grandma passed 2 minutes before I arrived at her door. I know what the grief is like, I went as the eyes and ears for my mom. Yet, she uses the excuse of grieving to treat me like shit?

She told me towards the end of the argument, that she knows what she texted me & that she acknowledges it, but that won’t apologize to me. Ever. She said she’s clearly telling me she’s never going to apologize to me for anything & she laughed in my face. She also told me towards throw away whatever Mother’s Day gift I have for her. I got her a handmade crochet doll of my grandma….

I guess I’m just lost. I’m really sad because she hasn’t t spoken to me since. And I’m also angry because a few months ago she had an argument with my teen brother, and the next day apologized to him. But how come he gets an apology and I don’t? It’s not fair. She lets him go out, lets his speeding tickets be no big deal, and he’s only 17. I’m 21, and was never able to go out when I was younger & I feel like she expects me to stay home and never leave. Well, I’ve been thinking about it since Wednesday and I’m thinking of switching to active duty Navy. Not for her, but for myself, and my siblings.

I suppose last Sunday a cousin of ours who used to live

with us, visited our home and my teen brother and teen sister let her in. I’m not sure of the details, but I didn’t see it as a big deal that she visited. On Monday when I got off of work, I found a huge nail filing block and my mom was wondering whose it was. I mentioned it may have been my cousin’s seeing as she visited on Sunday. My mom asks “she visited?” And I said “yeah I think yesterday.” I didn’t think anything of the conversation.

Tuesday morning arrived, and my mom immediately lashed out at my teen sister over text. She would say things like my sister doesn’t respect her as a mother, why didn’t she tell her that our cousin visited, that the “bitch” (my cousin) didn’t inform our mom of her visit, etc. I got really upset, because I feel like my mom takes out a lot of frustration on my teen sister and I think it’s unfair. I immediately texted my mom asking why she’s so angry with my sister for not telling her our cousin visited, when our sister thought our cousin told her. My mom immediately sent me multiple messages, telling me to be quiet, to not speak, and that she’s not my “bitch” to go against her.

I texted her saying I won’t speak then if she’s gonna get mad. She said she doesn’t care if I speak or not, and if it doesn’t convenience me to not speak, then don’t. She said hearing me makes her stay indifferent and that’s it’s my problem if I speak or not. I went to work, came back home, and sat down to eat. She immediately lashed out on me, saying I’m not the mom of the house, asking why I get involved in matters involving my younger siblings, and why I think I’m grown enough to go against her (I’m an adult, but I try to be reasonable when I talk to her). She immediately started guilt tripping me, saying her mom passed (she did, 2 months ago) and that she’s depressed and anxious. I don’t see how that’s an excuse to say mean things to me. She said one day when she passes herself, I’ll understand. But I told her I could be the one to pass first, nobody knows.

I think I’m just very upset at the fact that I feel like I’ve been the one forced for all responsibility of things. I’m the oldest child, I always excelled in school, I went to a top tier college, I took a break to help my mom with bills, and I’m still on said break. I swore into the Navy reserves because I’m trying to help my mom become documented with PIP. But during our argument, she said she doesn’t care to be fixed, she never asked me to help her, and that she can leave whenever she wants. But the whole point of me doing this is because I felt like she greatly influenced my life and I wanted to give this opportunity to her. I went to Guatemala in February and my grandma passed 2 minutes before I arrived at her door. I know what the grief is like, I went as the eyes and ears for my mom. Yet, she uses the excuse of grieving to treat me like shit?

She told me towards the end of the argument, that she knows what she texted me & that she acknowledges it, but that won’t apologize to me. Ever. She said she’s clearly telling me she’s never going to apologize to me for anything & she laughed in my face. She also told me towards throw away whatever Mother’s Day gift I have for her. I got her a handmade crochet doll of my grandma….

I guess I’m just lost. I’m really sad because she hasn’t t spoken to me since. And I’m also angry because a few months ago she had an argument with my teen brother, and the next day apologized to him. But how come he gets an apology and I don’t? It’s not fair. She lets him go out, lets his speeding tickets be no big deal, and he’s only 17. I’m 21, and was never able to go out when I was younger & I feel like she expects me to stay home and never leave. Well, I’ve been thinking about it since Wednesday and I’m thinking of switching to active duty Navy. Not for her, but for myself, and my siblings.

All my life I’ve been raised by my mother. I never knew my father and have had 2 stepdads alongside my mother. Along with this, our family dynamic I thought was stronger because my mom and her boyfriend are undocumented. Now that I’m at an age and living in a time where I should be on high alert, I ultimately decided to swear into the Navy Reserves to at least try to help my mother with her papers.

Two months ago I visited Guatemala to meet my grandparents only to be met with my grandma’s passing the same day I arrived. I thought this passing brought me closer to my mother and also my family in Guatemala. But as of that date, I felt the bond with my mother weaken. I really wanted my mom to see her mother, now I’m wanting her to see her father (my grandpa).

Fast forward to yesterday and today. An argument broke out between my mother and I. A cousin of ours who used to live with us visited a few days ago. I’d like to think part of why she moved out was because of my mother’s behavior. My mother gets very angry very fast. Goes silent and never apologizes and shit talks whoever she argued with for a few days. Well last night, I found a nail filing block with my mom. We weren’t sure whose it was, but I thought it may have been my cousin’s from her visit . My mom didn’t react to my statement, we went to bed.

Today I woke up at 5:30am. My sister did as well. She got ready for school, and I for work. At 6:45am our mom sent my sister a spam of messages asking why she didn’t inform our mom of our cousin coming, why doesn’t she respect her as a mother, and “we’ll talk about this later! 😡!!” I got really irritated because I personally feel like my teen sister suffers a lot of the anger from my mom. Like. A lot. So I texted my mom and asked why she’s so angry with my sister over something that’s not a big deal.

Long story short, she kept telling me to keep my mouth shut. I said I just won’t say anything and she said “I don’t care if you speak or don’t speak to me.” Well I just got 45 min ago from work, and as I’m eating she immediately lashes out. She tells me to not get involved in stuff involving my younger siblings, and that I run my mouth as if I want to boss my mom around. She said she’s suffering depression and anxiety from her mom’s loss, and that I’m just stacking more onto it. I told her “I witnessed the death. I was in Guatemala. I know what it’s like to see death. I never even got to meet my grandma.” She proceeded to deflect my emotions and say “You didn’t even know her, she was MY mother.” And I said “You’re MY mother. When she passed and I saw YOU sad I got sad too!”

The end of our argument I referred to how her messages from this morning hurt me. How she said she doesn’t care to hear me. She said “oh well, that’s your problem.” And I got really really upset. I asked why she said that stuff and she said “Because I was mad, those words are just in messages i wouldn’t get hurt by them like you” and I said “but they did hurt!” And she said “what do you want me to do?” And I said “you don’t want to apologize?” And she laughed at me and said “a mother never asks their kid, especially their daughter, for forgiveness. I’m never asking you for forgiveness and I’m telling you clearly I’m never doing that for you. Don’t go to the military then and don’t try to help me, I can go to Guatemala whenever I want. I don’t need you doing anything for me.”

Now… I’m in bed. Crying my heart out. I know no one asked me to do this for her, but I wanted to. I thought as the oldest first gen, it would be up to me to help the most. I work two jobs, everyday. One job is a 12 hour, the other an 8 hour. I am waiting a Navy ship date, just for to tell me all these hurtful things & she acknowledges them. I don’t know what to do. I love my little siblings, but growing up in a Hispanic household especially considering our arguments before were only leading up to this one, makes me want independence. I want to move out or switch to active duty. I know this could just be me being emotional, but I can’t bear this anymore. Especially because my mom acknowledges everything and still mocked me.

Hello, I’m very very nervous! My last period began April 11th, and ended April 16th. I had sex with someone, and we initially had a condom used. But at the end, he took it off, and kept going. I saw when he pulled out, and finished on my stomach. However, I’m still so nervous. I took a Julie an hour after, but I am overweight. Between 155lbs and 160lbs.

I also had this sex on April 24th. My app predicted ovulation to begin April 25th.

I guess I’m just really freaking out. I even asked him like three times and he said as soon as he felt it, he pulled out. But he also acknowledged that pre cum exists so he can’t say “100% sure.” But I am enlisted into the Navy and have potential to leave in less than a month. I know the risk I took and I have about 4 days before I take a pregnancy test at two weeks 😔