struggling with self-worth, competition and mental health
its been a while, I don't feel like looking forward to anything rn it just has been incredibly stagnant for the past year or so. Im just scared ill be stuck in the same place for my entire life.
background - in one of the reputed institutes of the country, decently good with acads but failed to qualify for good programs for exposure, yes there are people smarter than me but most of time my hardwork never seem to materialise there have been times where I missed by a short margin and others where I qualified but rejected due some other non - meritocratic anomaly. Luck never seems to be on my side. Yet there are others who get several opportunities without asking for it or the effort required. People who had all the fun(here fun means fooled around didn't study etc) also are ones with qualified for such programs, interns, etc.
Love and social life is screwed as well.. did find good friends in 1st year but soon either outgrew them or they drifted apart.. , crush feels so out of league...
feeling so stuck and stagnant that I don't see anything good or exciting in the future and kinda lost every bit of confidence that I had in myself...need advice