i absolutely hate people
why do i have to clean up everyone else’s messes in my god damn life. i’ve been in so many shitty relationships and ruined so many good ones because this stupid sickness makes me incapable of love and nobody even takes my diagnosis seriously. people know i have cptsd and know ive been through god awful stuff and STILL tell me that the cure to my problems is just “loving myself.” yeah fuck you that’s never happening. you don’t know shit about what it’s like to live a day in my life and you better be so fucking grateful you don’t. do you know what it’s like hearing EVERY boyfriend you’ve ever had say “i didn’t realize how good i had it until i met you” ?????? ITS FUCKING AWFUL IM SICK OF BEING A LESSON ON EMPATHY IM SICK OF BEING A STEPPING STONE TO A BETTER LIFE FOR OTHERS IM FUCKING TIRED !!!!!! why do i have to be responsible for everyone’s messes. why is nobody coming to save me. why aren’t heroes real. why do i have to be all alone. i told someone once that i have such bad trust issues because of how often ive been hurt that i have a wall up to protect myself and he said “and you wonder why you’re so lonely” IM SICK OF EVERYTHING BEING MY FAULT AAARGGHHHHH