My girlfriend (23F) doesn’t want to have sex with me (23M)
TL;DR
My girlfriend used to be very sexual and affectionate. Now, after 5 years, she can go days without sex, kisses, hugs, or any real physical affection.
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We’re both our first sexual partners. At first, she wanted to have sex every day, sometimes even twice a day, in public, in the forest, pretty much everywhere, all the time.
Then she started having hair loss. A doctor told her she had androgenic alopecia. It’s less common in women, but her two brothers had the same fate, and she did as well. She then decided to start taking finasteride. I suffered no libido loss from this at all.
After she started taking finasteride, I sensed a change. Now she wanted sex once every two days, which was still fine by me, but clearly there was a difference. I asked if she felt any change in her libido, and she said that, for her, it was the same.
I thought to myself, maybe it’s just a change in the phase of our relationship.
However, she has now been taking it for three years, and I’ve noticed the most drastic change. She can now go two, three, four, or even five days barely touching me.
Now it’s not just about not having sex, but about barely any hugs, words, or kisses. No naughty touch, nothing.
Full disclosure, we’re both at about the same level of attractiveness. Both of us go to the gym, have nice bodies, and nice faces.
I’m already feeling increasingly sexually frustrated, sometimes masturbating even twice a day just to kill my sex drive.
I kept making excuses for her in my head. Maybe she’s more tired lately, maybe she’s stressed. However, my biggest eye-opener was when we went on a trip.
Every time we went on a trip in the past, we would have intense sex. It was the thrill of a new place combined with being completely alone.
For the first time since we’ve been together, five years, we went on a trip to a nearby city, stayed in an amazing apartment, and when we arrived, she didn’t even want to touch me. It felt as if she was terrified of me initiating anything. I’m not pushy. I just try touching her slowly to see how she responds, and somehow, she now expresses zero attraction toward me.
I don’t know if it’s because of the finasteride, age, or because she got tired of me.
While I think finasteride may have something to do with it, sadly, I think it’s the last option.
During the first years we were together, I looked far less attractive than I do today. Yet she never complained and was always sweet to me. I could be shaved, have a moustache, a full beard, wear pink or yellow, and she’d have nothing but good words for me.
Over the last year, she started doing things she didn’t do before. She’d complain about my haircut, tell me I look bad without a beard, and almost beg me to go to a hairdresser, even when my hair looked fine, just not freshly cut. It’s just weird. She tries to strictly decide what I should wear. She even hides clothes from me that I like because she doesn’t.
Just as an example, I got two haircuts in the last month alone because she was very intense about it, and she was already pushing me to get a third. Three haircuts in one month? I think she doesn’t find me very attractive anymore and believes that maybe it’s the hair or the way I dress, when it clearly goes beyond that.
She also started complaining more about my body odor. I’ve always had body odor after going to the gym or spending a full day traveling. It’s normal, we’re human. She didn’t have a problem with it before. Now, any subtle body odor gets treated as if I’m repulsive.
I don’t know what to do. Asking her won’t solve anything. I know her well enough to know she won’t admit to something like that.