How do I ask for accommodations at my summer internship? Should I even?
TLDR: I got the summer internship I have worked so hard for, but now, after hearing some of the details, I fear I may need to ask for accommodations. Should I, and risk them thinking about me as incompetent or entitled? Or should I suck up eventual difficulties and risk having a meltdown, which in turn raises the risk of seeming like I don't want to be there? What accommodations could I even ask for?
Hello, evil brethren. I call upon thee for some advice I desperately need.
I have been working my arse off for quite some time, and this year I finally got accepted into my city's writing internship for young writers! I am so blessed to have this opportunity, and I want nothing more than to work on my writing at this internship. So, yesterday I got a call from the people confirming some of my personal information and getting consent from my parents (which is only needed for a couple more months, by the way, so I am a young adult!) - nothing out of the ordinary. But then the guy started talking some more about the internship and mentioned that we were going out of town on several occasions; also, he kept a lot of the details vague, so I'm not even 100% sure who is going to be leading the internship, let alone who my colleagues will be or what my hours will be.
Some red flags started going off in my brain hearing this. I'm not sure it matters, but I have mild to moderate support needs (lvl 2), and I attend online school because the environment in real-life school is much too overwhelming for me. I am also prone to meltdowns triggered by going to places I haven't been before (visiting the place beforehand doesn't always help, but I might try that).
All that, plus the lingering thought of:
"What if I'm not good enough?"
"What if my colleagues hate me?"
"What if I let the people down and they made a mistake by choosing me?"
Really gets me knot-in-my-stomach scared.
I also get nervous because outwardly, my meltdowns only look like crying, which to others can easily be misinterpreted as annoying or childish. I really don't want them to see me as incompetent, or worse, maybe they'll take my job away. Now, despite obviously subscribing to the evilautism agenda, in real life I'm quite soft and sensitive, and I hate making a nuisance of myself. My worst nightmare is people thinking I'm entitled, ungrateful, or rude, and I get super wrecked when I make mistakes. I know you shouldn't care what others think, but they'll be my bosses after all.
I don't live in America and here the view on disability is pretty progressive and accepting; but since I don't "present as autistic." and have heard the "you're not autistic because you do xyz" and "you can't be autistic, you're such a drama queen." all my life, that fear of people rolling their eyes and going full fakedisordercringe on me in real life is very much present.
How I wish I could just be able to smile and say, "Going out of town sounds lovely," and mean it! Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but I feel anxious at the thought of this internship and how unprepared I am.
Wrapping this post up: let's say I do decide to reach out to them with my issues, what do I even say? What could I do to make going out of town and doing this internship as smooth as possible? I am very much willing to put in some work, so to speak, and do whatever it takes for me to be able to utilize this once-in-a-lifetime chance.
Thanks for any and all help. If you feel like yelling at me in the comments, don't, because *insert photo of a lamb here* that's who you'll be yelling at!
(also, Ariel photo; because I too want to be "part of that world!" that world being a safe and lovely work space where I'm not suffering.)