My girl dinner today is a caesar salad with fried chicken and a cup of honey lemon.
As the title says, I don't think I'm capable of experiencing true romance.
I don't take middle school love confessions seriously. I was too invested with the curriculum in high school so no dating life as well. By the time I got into university, I thought I could finally see what romance is all about.
It gave me a seemingly irreversible perception on romance and love.
I remember falling so hard for a guy and desperately wanting him to be 'the one'. Confessing would be a tad too risky so I told a close friend of mine at that time of what I felt.
This is the first time I ever felt so strongly about someone so I guess my brain was processing it.
It broke my heart into pieces when that close 'friend' on mine made her move on him instead and they hit it off. I told her how I noticed the way they interacted is a bit too... friendly but she denied it and said that they're just friends.
I still felt weird about it because those two didn't even know each other if it weren't for me. And I'm 100% certain she only ever noticed him is because of how I felt about him.
Some time later, I gathered the courage to tell him how I truly feel about him and as expected, he rejected me. Which I was fine with that. He then proceeds to tell me how it feels weird to be involved with me since he's been talking to my friend in a pretty serious way.
I was in denial about it at first before he showed me glimpses of their texts, which definitely showed a LOT of flirting and they were definitely more than just friends.
It just hurts me because when I gave her a chance to be honest, she denied everything and insists that she doesn't have feelings for him just to hide the truth from me.
This happened a long time ago. I just need to get this off my chest. I know how "all is fair in love and war" but I still don't understand how one could do that to a friend.
Now I have this irrational perception of romantic love, where every guy I meet is just bound to get taken from me anyways.