u/GirlKisser23

Help..? (new btw, and undiagnosed)

So, sometimes i hear things just randomly. nothing bad. But then theres time were I will what my friends and i call it is "fade out of reality," and I will forget were i am, and just forget what i was doing, and just forget everything. Then i start to see this man, and he tells me to do things like to hurt myself or just run away or something. Sometimes I listen because it seems like he reminds me of the times when i was in the hospital, and then he says itll all go all go away if i just do what he says. Id get reminded of the people i hurt. I dont like this in the slightest. I dont want ot tell anyone, my dad gets mad when im not perfect, and my moms neglectful, my therapist would tell my dad or send me away again. Its been going on for a while and i just dont know what to do anymore. Im sick of being controlled. Just one second im just upset, then the next i have no idea what's going on. And its even worse that my friends have to tel me what happend, what i did to myself, because i just dont always remember after it happens.

reddit.com
u/GirlKisser23 — 10 hours ago

I think im pan? Ive been taught that its not okay.

I don't know, I know I like girls, but I also like guys, but I also have never cared about gender, its awlays ersonalaity and rarely looks. Pan just feels right and fits, I just dont want to be hated. Ive been taught that its wrong and just really bad, but I don't believe it. I mean.. isn't God supposed to love everyone? Why does who i like have to deal with that? I just want to feel confident in this, I know im not alone, I just want to be confident, and i want people to know without being judged.

reddit.com
u/GirlKisser23 — 10 hours ago