I don’t even know how to start this out. Sorry if there are run off sentences and some of it doesn’t make sense. I’ve tried talking to my husband over and over and over about issues but he acts like I’m the problem. So I, (f32) and my husband (m33) have been together for 11 years. We got married in 2020 and had a little boy in 2021. And this is where it all changed. I ended up having a hard birth, c section and I thought everything was fine. Well the day we come home, I get called a f***ing b****. Among other things, postpartum was hell and I barely survived. Hated my husband for two years. So we move, things slowly get better than all of a sudden, he has these ideas that I cheated. I literally don’t like anyone, I stay to myself. I work one day a week and I’m home with our child the rest of the days. He goes through my phone, goes through my apps, I hadn’t done anything. So he’s like in sorry, it’s my anxiety. I have chronic anxiety so I was like okay. Well jump to this year, it has been absolute hell. Our child had surgery and we fought at the hospital. Embarrassing honestly. Then we’re supposed to have open communication, look at each other‘s phones whenever and things like that and I saw something on Snapchat and asked him about it and he wouldn’t. He deleted everything so I messaged the girl and she told me what their conversation was about. It was innocent, but it’s just the fact that he hid it from me. Then we ran into an issue where just out of respect for the other person, like you know don’t go follow random people of the opposite gender. Don’t like their things stuff like that like don’t give attention to where it shouldn’t be given. Well, he’s over there following new girls liking all their post and I’m like OK. I’m glad you’re giving her attention when you can’t give your wife the attention that she deserves. I’m like at least somebody gets it. Then he tries to spin it on me telling me that I’m controlling and I’m narcissistic and I’m manipulative when I’m not any of that. I’m actually in therapy and I use CBT and I work on myself so I know I’m not the problem. I know how that sounds, wow a girl thinking she’s not the problem, go figure your typical woman, no it’s not like that. I have been actively working on myself and I have been told I’m not narcissistic. I’m not manipulative and I’m not controlling. I have grown and I have not been like that for quite a while. My Husband however, wants to try to control everything like how I speak to people what I do to people his family how I apologize and when I’m going to apologize, he is narcissistic and he does try to manipulate the situation to make it go how he wants and at this point I’m just having a lot of issues with the respect thing because he doesn’t respect me and I’m sure all of y’all will agree to it too, but I don’t know what to do emotionally spiritually mentally I’m lost and I don’t know what to do so I guess like yeah advice but not advice at the same time. I don’t even know how to go about that Reddit y’all just do what y’all do, please.
And I wish I could say it was a onetime thing but it’s a pattern this year and I’m just worn tf down and tired.