u/Giga-Gargantuar

I feel kind of silly for being worried about this at my age and with what I've been through, but let's see what y'all say.

It seems different from ordinary dating. Asking someone out is normalized, and only in very rare instances when you're single and you ask out a single person, do you get labeled a creep or a weirdo or anything like that.

But what if, like me, you're married, and there's someone you know who you think is hot as hell, and you're certain is not married, and whom you'd love to have as your FWB / additional partner / etc.? It seems that asking someone about _that_ is far more likely to get you branded something unpleasant. "Ewww, that's weird. You're married." Then you may end up torching your reputation with not only that person but anyone that person knows. "You know, he asked me to have sex with him? Said he's in an 'open marriage'."

How have any of you all navigated that? Am I overthinking it? (If I were "just dating", I'd ask someone out with no worries.)

EDIT: Many of you are saying I have to be sure she's ENM first. How does that square with the many women who never were ENM and don't especially identify as ENM but want more sex than they get anyway? I've had a couple of "great while they lasted" partnerships like that. I don't care if she's ENM. I'd be okay with it ending when/if it ends, even if that's because she finds a partner.

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u/Giga-Gargantuar — 10 days ago