I deleted our conversations
Did it last night, 4 months after finally ending things with the guy who strung me along for almost 2 years. And I'm so conflicted. On the one hand, I'm relieved. I no longer have a way to check his activity on insta, nor spend hours going through our chat, being reminded of how little I meant to him, and how easy it is for him to not have me in his life. I feel like this will help me to move on completely.
On the other hand, I now no longer have access to the sweet parts of our story. The messages and conversations that proved to me that it wasn't all bad, and that I wasn't stupid for staying that long, because there were moments in time when it seemed like he was really trying to make it work on his end.
There's not much point to this post, I guess. Just another person stuck in the push and pull of fully detaching, and holding on, in hopes of making sense of her pain...