I guess I just need somewhere to ramble it's 2 AM and I'm just emotional.
I started reading Goodnight Punpun last week and got super into it and as of tonight I have finally finished it and I cried.
It's probably because I relate to Punpun, I relate to the whole cast really. I adore them all while accepting most of the cast consists of bad people.
Punpun means so much to me as an SA victim. His rape shaped the way he viewed his relationships completely and is the main reason why he viewed his and Aiko's relationship as mostly sexual (this is not to justify any of his actions.)
I don't think I've ever seen something truly reflect what my SA did to me the way this Manga has; The way he accepted it then proceeded to fawn over Midori, thinking the rape meant there was something special between them. His hypersexuality. How he started viewing sex as the only form of affection. How he thought that's all there was to relationships.
I know some people view him completely as a horrible person which although I agree, some refuse to acknowledge what traumas lead to his actions.
I hate (love) this Manga because every single character is a true victim (with very few exclusions). Every character is filled with complexities, with reasons for their actions, with so much depth and care. It's just so beautiful.
I love all of the characters but I love Punpun so much. I love him more than I can describe. There is no justifying his actions, but I understand what made him do those things more than anything in the world, I've never felt so seen before.