u/GgAllinsButthole

Sooooo made a post the other day asking for singing advice. I opened with the fact that im trans femme and im trying to learn to sing in a more feminine style.

It got locked for asking medical advice? But I dont know what medical advice was being asked. Was it because I used the word "trans"? That seems kind of silly because it was relevant to the topic and wasnt really the focus of the post... and besides... nothing about singing is medical. Having a vocal coach even to change your voice isn't medical either.

Just confused about the situation? Id like to come here for advice but not being able to include a pretty relevant detail feels like this sub wouldn't be very helpful for me. And I don't think I should have to get around this rule by not mentioning being trans. Why medicalize something like that? Being cis isn't "medical". Youre cis or trans.

Like if I asked for advice on vocal cord surgery- sure! Medical advice. But... yeah. Didnt do that.

So! Quick context- im trans femme, ive taken some voice classes for speaking. Im on hiatus for that now. So im taking singing classes with a vocal coach who is informed on what im trying to do- ie focus on a more feminine style of singing. She's been good but I only see her once every few weeks and this is very self directed otherwise. I tend to sing a lot of punk- Le Tigre and Bikini kill is my vibe. Also some big thief which is more folky i guess.

So one thing I've noticed is when I sing more aggressively with more chest push I actually sound brighter and more present than when im being more careful. I sound fuller and more resonant when im belting than when im singing at a moderate volume. How can I maintain that forward bright placement at lower dynamics? And how do I access mix voice when reaching up into a higher register without the tone going thin and backing off?

Probably a question for my vocal coach but I dont see her for another week! Lol.

Anyways any help at all would be lovely. Thanks folks

So i take recordings, and listen and often my assessment is "oh that was ok" or "meh not feelin it". Sometimes useful stuff like "oh could have dropped some of the heaviness" or "woops i heard a drop here".

But I never feel confident in this. And even then those are just thoughts I guess? Just looking for guidance here. I thought maybe id get a note book and write assessments? Date stamped etc. Do little notes on what to work on.

Also- anyone have a solid practice routine they follow? I always feel like im just making noises and then trying to talk. It feels nebulous and unstructured lately. I usually warm up with some falsetto sirens. Do some pop cab exercises to work with open quotient. Recite some vowel slides. Say money money money and siiiiiNGA for resonance and then some breathing exercises before just... talking into a mic.

Any help at all is appreciated!

Edit: some clarification of where im at. Pitch control solid. Forward placement good to great. I can raise my larynx at will.

Where i think im struggling is I feel like my "voice" still sounds off. Not consistent enough. Maybe I think i need to drop some weight without my voice sounding weak?

Can anyone else identify with this? I feel like id let her burn me up with her fire. Knowingly. Willfully. Just to stay close to her. She's not evil. She's not a villain. She's a victim in so many ways and the trauma from her victimhood causes her to hurt and abuse me.

But she's wonderful. She's beautiful. She's everything i love in this horrible world. She's my first thought when I wake. The last thing i think about before sleep. She's done so much for me. Supported me through so much. Its been near a decade. And IVE BEEN THE BASTARD TOO. In different ways. I used to be far less emotionally available. I neglected her years ago. I was a bad partner.

But then the fights we have... over nothing usually. She gets into these... moods. Almost a Dr.jekyll mr.hyde situation. She's hit me. Called me horrible, HORRIBLE things. Cut me down verbally with my deepest insecurities. Nothing is off the table. She's done such cruel things. Horribly cruel things....

But still I love her. I forgive her unconditionally. But its killing me. Bit by bit. The flames of her love are consuming me. My friends hate it. My therapist hates it. Everyone hates it. And I know theyre right. But I cant abandon her. I dont know what's wrong with me. I just cant. It hurts when im away from her. It hurts so badly. My heart has been hurting so much lately.

Just looking for... i guess other people who have felt the same. Support. I dont fucking know.

Hey! Sooooo, had a weird interaction with security there last week. Im a trans woman, and I used the washroom and suddenly a woman burst into the washroom and yelled "wellness check" and then "is everything ok in here?" Or something like that. And then a minute late a man opened the door and said something like "this is a woman's washroom". I responded from the stall "And Im a woman, so...".

He left and a few minutes later when I left a man and a woman were standing near the washrooms watching me. So I approached them and they started mumbling something about standard procedure. I looked at the dude and asked him to repeat what he said in the washroom and he wouldn't do it. He looked super awkward about it.

I then left and called their floor manager who told me they do wellness checks every 15 minutes and that everything that happened was normal. I kept asking him about the security guards comment in the washroom and he wouldn't really say much but said he would file a report and someone would call me back with clarification on the matter. I asked him if saying bigoted shit was also standard procedure and if certain minority groups can expect to face those things at the library in the name of security and he got really awkward about it.

Anyways my question is- every 15 minutes they claim they do a wellness check. Ive never seen this but I dont spend a huge amount of time at the library. But that seems INSANE that every 15 minutes people burst into the washroom and yell stuff.