Man, I love being a dad. I swear…love it. I love how hard it is and how rewarding it can be.
This post is long, apologies but I almost left the earth four times in October, and I need to get this out somewhere.
I always wanted to be a dad.
Back in 2022, after years of trying and being told we had about a 1% chance of conceiving, my wife and I welcomed our first daughter through IVF. One round. No complications. Boom, baby.
The moment I met my little girl, I fell so hard in love. I can’t even describe it. But you all know what I’m talking about.
She’s almost 4 now, and she’s cool as shit. Every single day she surprises me with the way she thinks, the questions she asks, the way she navigates the world.
Last year we found out we were pregnant again, naturally this time! Needless to say, we were ecstatic.
And then it happened.
The morning my second daughter was supposed to arrive (scheduled c-section), my wife found me unconscious on the floor at 4am.
I had gone septic overnight from a strep infection that got into my bloodstream. My heart rate was around 250–300 BPM. Full-on SVT.
I don’t remember much. I remember waking up in an ambulance. Going in and out of consciousness. I remember feeling like my heart was going to explode and I was sweating more than I knew was possible.
I couldn’t move. Then things went dark and I felt like I was hallucinating.
My heart had stopped.
I’m not religious. I’m an atheist. But I swear, I saw “the light.”
The only things I saw were my wife and my daughter. They were smiling, dancing and running together in dresses. Everything around them was white, the floor, the walls, the sky, all of it.
And I remember thinking, “I’m going to miss their lives.”
I fought like hell not to die.
The paramedics got my heart going again. I could see, but I couldn’t talk.
That happened three more times in the hospital that week.
Meanwhile, my wife was sitting there 9 months pregnant ready to pop. She sat beside me every day while I crashed over and over again. Pushed out of the room while I was getting worked on and right back in the seat when I became stable.
She’s the toughest person I know, such a badass chick.
I was strong enough to witness the birth of my second daughter. I had a walker with a seat during the delivery. I walked myself over and met my baby.
I fell in love all over again.
I left the hospital in heart failure (my EF was 30)? But i didn’t care. I cared more that i was leaving with my wife and both daughters.
I ended up graduating cardiac rehab and was back to feeling better 3 months later.
I’m just so damn grateful to be here. I cry now. Never used to. Sometimes I look at my daughters playing and think “I almost missed this, I almost wasn’t here”.
I’ll never take a single moment with them for granted again.
I recommend - please try and do the same. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Put your phone down, hug your kid, enjoy every second.
Take care dads