u/GarRhein

My sister is pregnant, and her husband and in-laws are very good to her, but our family can never offer her much support. If only I could have a job near her now and be a little richer.

My grandma's hearing has gotten worse. When we video call, she's always worried I'll run into bad people, whether I'm eating enough, and if it's cold in my room. If only I could be there to help her watch "The Legend of Zhen Huan" and cook for her.

The direction my professor gave is so broad; I can't even figure out a general research topic. I'm afraid I'll have to come to Mohe for research in the future, but I really don't want to come back. Mohe is so far from school, and I much prefer the mountainous landscapes of the southwest region. If only the professor would just give me a specific topic.

My parents have been working on the house non-stop, and they look so exhausted. If only I could help them with something.

My younger brother's grades have dropped severely. This school is really not a good fit for him, and I feel so guilty. It's my fault for not helping him apply to a better school; this is the consequence of him being waitlisted. If only I could tutor him now.

Everything is just so hard.

I'm such a failure. Faced with the prospect of finding a job after my bachelor's, I escaped all my family and social responsibilities by enrolling in another full-time program in a field I have no interest in, and which has an even more brutal job market. Now, I don't even have a reason to not want to study, and I can't understand anything. I can't speak properly; with anyone besides my family, my speech is just a weak, pleading attempt to please them.

The problems, known and unknown, past and present, just keep coming one after another.
How on earth can I get out of all of this?

(I translate it, below is the original)

姐姐怀孕了，她的老公和婆家对她很好，但我们家总是不能给她什么支持；要是我能现在就有在姐姐附近的工作，再变富一点就好了。

奶奶的听力变得比较差，跟我视频一直想着我在这会不会遇到坏人，吃得饱不饱屋里冷不冷；要是我可以在她身边帮她放甄嬛传，给她做饭就好了。

老师给的方向好宏大，我找不出大概的研究内容，我怕以后还要来漠河做研究，但我不想再来漠河，漠河离学校好远，而且我更喜欢西南片区的山地景观；要是老师直接给我个题目就好了。

爸爸妈妈一直在修房子，他们看起来好累，要是我可以跟着他们承担些什么就好了。

弟弟学习下滑很严重，这个学校确实不适合他，我好愧疚，这个学校是因为我没帮他报考好，滑档造成的后果；要是我现在可以帮他辅导就好了。

这一切都好难。

好失败，因为不敢面对本科就业，就逃避了所有家庭、社会责任继续脱产学习一个自己根本没兴趣并且就业更惨烈的专业；现在更是没缘由的不想学、学不懂；根本说不懂话，跟所有除了亲人以外的人说话都是讨好的弱势的…

现有的过往的预知的，问题怎么层出不穷？
到底要怎样才能摆脱这一切。