Should I apologize her again face-to-face?
TL;DR : I found my roommate's post that shit-talked about my stank as annonymous in our college-community. So I apologized too her in long text messege(because she never told me about my stank, so I thought she would be uncomfortable if I say FTF to her.). But she didn't replied. And after that, she didn't even checked my messege.
My mother language is not english. But I'll try my best to explain.
In this post, I must say I'm the bad one.
My roommate and I are not very close friends. But since I gave her a snack which I bought and saying 'I wanna be friendly with you' in the first day we met, and we had a small talk since then, I thought, at least, we have some relationships to tell the other person freely? But maybe it was not I think...
Okay, it's a shame, but I have some alcohol issues. So I didn't want to wake up and I drank everyday 'til I get buzzed and sleep.
It was quite hard to take a shower everyday, so after being some kind of alcoholic, I don't tend to sleep in our room.
We have a living-room which is very small(Smaller than the actual room. It's like some kind of passage just to go to the bathroom and out.) -That's where I sleep, and spending the almost entire time.
Well, I thought I wouldn't be so stink to her. -Since if she closes the door, our spaces are completely seperated. And most of all, she never told me about what is pissing her off.- But yesterday I realized I was completely wrong.
We have our college-community -which you can post everything without revealing your identity- and I found her post which is crap-talking about me. She said like "My roommate is driving me crazy. I wanna puke when I walk beside her.". You may say 'How do ya know if it's her?'. Well, trust me. Every situation OP described was 100% matching me. So I sent OP the letter like
> I think that's me. You're the room X(which we live in) right? I'm sorry... I thought I wouldn't stink too much since I don't live in our room. I have some alcohol issue, so I think I fogot that I'm living with others... If you have another issues with me please freely talk. It doesn't have to be FTF.
> I really want to apologize... TBH my nose is not really good so I didn't really know I smell that bad(I don't even bother to wake up when others are eating while I'm in sleep). I would really like to change my rude behaviour. Again, I'm really sorry...
She read those two apology letter, and after that, I think she blocked me???
She doesn't read. And the post which had a OP's nickname turned into annonymously...
Of course I was too sorry, so yeasterday I took a shower and emptied every trash can in our dormroom(under my desk, beside our toilet, in our livingroom).
But she never reads my letter or replying... I know I messed up our relationships. But I don't know what to do more for now... We didn't even make a single talk since yesterday and I don't know what to do...
I know I'm the bad roommate so I really want to change myself. Do you guys think it's too much to apologize to her FTF? Then what should I do for now?