Am I being immature about sex or is this a problem?
I (20M) and my girlfriend (21F) have been together for two years now. We were each other’s first time and sex has always been something I’ve been more comfortable with and had to lead in than her. Our sexual dynamic has usually relied on if I pull the trigger on something in order for us to advance. This includes coming up with new ideas or bringing up new things for us to explore or try.
My issue is that my partner is can communicate when they want to have sex and notify me when they are in the mood,touch me and so forth and flirt a little. However from that point on I’m expected to just take over and do all the foreplay and lusting. For example our sex will go like this: She notifies me in a flirty way she wants to do something, I proceed to massage her body and hump on her and then we work our way up PIV sex and then 8/10 we use the vibrator afterwards. I do all the heavy lifting when it comes to the sex and am the one trying to satisfy us both. If we just use the vibrator for her and don’t do PIV sex she will fall asleep and I get nothing. If I don’t jump at her cues and take over during sex nothing will happen. She won’t ride,she doesn’t often give BJ’s (BJ’s are something I’m really into and she is aware of this) or anything really like that.
We only ever do Doggy style and it’s been that way for many months now,if I ask her if she wants to do anything else it’s a no or she just wants to do doggy. We’ve talked about these things numerous times but this is where our dynamic always falls back to. I feel like I’m in a comprised spot because it’s not like she doesn’t tell me she finds me attractive and flirts sexually, it’s just that I have to be the one to make sure those things are actually done and miss out on the opportunity to feel ravished or pursued.
I would love to have her just pull my pants down and go to town on me or lead me to the bed and ride me like it was our last day on earth or share new ideas but those things just don’t happen. It feels like there’s no incentive for her to just want to please me on her own and I’m stuck pleasing her and I don’t get why. I’ve always tried to have that energy for her since the start of our relationship and over time that energy of mine has slowly dwindled and lessened . I’m still into her and I still appreciate our relationship I just don’t want the sex like I used to and I’m unsure if this is a normal reaction or I’m seeing this wrong. I have no one to talk to about my sex life and I’m very inexperienced and need help navigating it.
TL;DR My gf is consistently passing me the ball to shoot when it comes to our sex life but sometimes I just want her to dunk it herself