I am Asian (F23) and my boyfriend is white (M23)met in the States when I was a summer worker there in 2023. I went back again in 2025 as a summer worker, but not in the same state where he lives. During the 4-month working period, he drove to see me a couple of times each month, even though we didn’t get to spend much time together since he could only come on weekends, and I had to work because it was busy. He drove around 6–7 hours each trip just to see me for 2–3 days and spent a lot of money on hotels and food, so I would say he sacrificed a lot for our relationship.
We argued sometimes because I had to live with other summer workers from my country and other countries, and he felt insecure about it. But I swear I never cheated on him. All I focused on was working because I wanted to save money to pay my student loan.
Since we’re in a long-distance relationship, he didn’t ask for nude pictures much. At the beginning, I sent him some, but not often, because in 2023 we didn’t spend much time together, and we only became serious in 2024. He came to my country in 2024, and we had sex almost every day. After he left, I somehow felt like I lost my sex drive or the feeling to send nudes, even though I used to. I told him once that I didn’t know what was wrong with me and that I felt like I didn’t have sexual feelings anymore. But I still love him, I enjoy spending time with him, and I still find him attractive.
We’ve met each other’s families, and both sides are welcoming and nice. I’m planning to go back to the States again at the end of this year to spend Christmas with him.
The problem is that he wants intimacy from me, and I feel like I can’t give him that right now. He brought it up again recently, saying he feels like there’s a lack of intimacy, and he wants me to send nudes. I kept refusing because I really don’t want to do that anymore. Then he said he wanted to break up, but I held on to him.
Last night, one of his best friends came over to watch a movie with him. We were texting, and I jokingly said his friend was his “little mistress.” I didn’t mean it seriously, but he got really upset that I called him gay, combined with the earlier intimacy issues. It turned into a big argument, and now he has blocked me everywhere.
I’m not sure how to handle this situation or if I should reach out to him after being blocked. I still care about him, but I also feel stuck about the intimacy issue. Any advice would really help.