Before I start explaining the situation, I want to apologize for my English, as it is not my first language.
Two years ago my (16f) best friend (18f) had a stroke on the next day of her 16th birthday. At first it did not cause paralysis, but doctors began to understand the causes of her condition and discovered that there was an anomaly in her brain. She had an arteriovenous malformation.
She was rushed to a bigger, more advanced city for surgery. All this time, I tried to support her as much as possible through text, since brain surgery carried great risks and the possibility of becoming disabled. And i knew that was her biggest fear, she always told me she'd choose death over disability any day (not in offensive way). But at the day of the surgery, while she was lying on the operating table, she had two more strokes one of which was ischemic, and cerebral hemorrhage.
The surgery lasted eight hours and I thought that if she didn’t wake up, I would go and drown myself in the nearest river or throw myself under a car. But she did wake up, the thing was - she was alive, but half paralysed (left part of her body, to make it worse, she's left handed).
First year after that was the worst. She cried herself to sleep every night and always told me about her suicide thoughts. I tried to comfort her every time she brought it up, every month i bought tickets for an intercity bus and traveled for hours to get to her, just to be near her (I would visit her more often, but I don't have that much money). I was really scared to lose her one day to suicide and it was killing me, seeing her crying. She often said (and still says sometimes) that her life now is ruined and there's no future for her.
The most disgusting thing was that my best friend's mother did not care about her recovery and over time even stopped comforting her, showing that she did not care about my friend's health. Her younger sisters also became irritated that they had to help my friend, and in the end, I was the only one left to support her. Because no one but me insists on recovery exercises that are not guaranteed to help, she has stopped doing them and is increasingly giving up on her future, even if she mentions it.I try to visit her as often as possible, but my mother is also sick and I am the only one of my siblings who helps her, so i can't leave for long.
I'm trying really hard to convince my friend to continue living and take steps towards recovery, but she's very pessimistic about it. The situation is also worsened by their family's poor financial situation (Because of this, they cannot hire a professional massage therapist and go to a big city to consult with good doctors) and the friend's mother's unwillingness to help her daughter.
We once planned to move in together and attend the same university. That's impossible, but I'd still prefer to get my friend out of her toxic home. However, I can't do this yet because I'm 16, and she doesn't have the money to move out on her own.
So how do i make her at least a little bit happier while she's still with her family? How do i get suicidal thoughts out of her head?