Opening up a monogamous relationship has been very difficult
I’m really confused with what’s been going on in my relationship and I need some advice on how i can feel better. Basically a couple of months ago, my partner told me he wanted to try to have a fully open relationship (we’ve dabbled a bit in dating together with mixed results). He keeps telling me that he’s just trying it out and it’s not permanent.
To be honest, I didn’t feel great about it and have had my fears and doubts about it when I’ve thought about it in the past. He has assured me in the past that for him, nonmonogamy is due to a sexual desire and not emotional one. At any case, I agreed as I felt like I have to and also partially because of my own curiosity.
Fast forward to now, I’m still finding my footing not really sure what I want and having met some cool people but it never really went anywhere. On the other hand, in the second week he met someone he likes and has been seeing them every week, sometimes multiple times a week. I’m quite shocked that my partner basically has a second relationship. I didn’t expect things to go this way as I didn’t think this is what he wanted. He’s been assuring me along the way that I’m his priority and that the other person is just a friend with whom he has sex with. But frankly, it doesn’t feel great. Maybe would be better for me if I was having a great time. I’m also now worried that this relationship format works really well for him and that if I don’t enjoy non-monogamy, that means we are not compatible and we’ll have to break up. He says if I don’t want this, we can eventually stop. But I don’t want to be in a relationship where being with me is a compromise. At any case, I’m doubting everything in the relationship and wondering if there’s any point in continuing…
Has anyone been in a situation like this? I feel rationally, I should continue with dating and see how things go but I have a lot of fears and dealing with the jealousy and the envy has been really difficult, especially as so far I haven’t been very successful. How do I know if this is right for me?