u/Future-Nectarine-836

The girlies are saying stretched styles prevent SSKs and don't get me wrong I really like them, but I have refrained from doing them too often (last one was the in the beginning of March) because I use heat (my blow dryer) to do it. I usually just do a braid out or flexi rod set on blow dried hair to achieve my desired look (attached some pictures too and all but the last photo are from like 2 years ago).

Here's what I don't get though: if I braid/twist my wet hair to stretch it, isn't that the exact same as what I regularly do? I'll twist up my hair up on my wash day, rock the twists for like a week or so then wear my twist out for another week before washing again. My main concern is the tangles I experience when I wear the actual twist out. All that friction causes the tangles and SSKs. So, again I ask, if I'm not blow drying to stretch my hair how is braiding/twisting to stretch it any different than what I usually do? How do the SSKs and tangles just magically disappear? I ain't calling y'all liars but am I missing something here? 😭

Let me preface this post by saying that I LOVE MY NATURAL HAIR (like down BEWTS). However, I have grievances with her. It seems like every time I know the rules of the game, she changes the rules.

For context, I've been natural since like 2010 and along that journey I have worn a series of sew-ins (while sprinkling in a few natural styles when I got to college), wigs, knotless braids and then back to wigs and now we're here as a full-time natural. What a ride it's been. Now I'll be the first to admit, I neglected her a bit in the past: skipping regular trims, excessive heat to my leave out, going months without necessary wash days, the works, but she's always seems to thrive. My hair can retain length without a problem in a protective style, but now it seems that I'm washing more frequently, moisturizing more extensively and actually paying attention, I'm getting more breakage than ever? Trick dice.

I stopped doing wash and gos last summer due to single strand knots and the gel was super drying which led to breakage, I stopped washing with hot water because I have high porosity hair and that's apparently a no no, I stopped doing slick back buns because of the gel and the stress to my edges (I also have traction alopecia). Now, as of 2 days ago, I found out I can't do twist outs either. My routine is that I wash bi-weekly (or even go three weeks while doing a co-wash and a mini retwist in the middle) and then wear my twist out for a week until it gets frizzy. But the amount of tangles I experience after that 1 week of wearing it out??? My God on todayyyyy. Obviously this inevitably leads to breakage, even with finger detangling AND using a steamer while doing so. Unfortunately, I think I'll just be limited to wearing two-strand twists 24/7 with no fro time at all–which is sad bc I love my fro.

If anyone has any advice on how to retain length while not being restricted to just one style, lmk. I'm thinking about washing weekly to minimize tangles but twisting my hair every week?? Absolutely NOT. I'm studying for law school while working FT and I just don't have it in me bro😭.

(For extra info: I have 4b-4c, "mechanically fragile," high density hair with thick strands. It's high porosity and always needs moisture. It's also virgin so no color or bleach. My water isn't hard, I LCO after I wash and I grease my scalp with Blue Magic as needed. I wash bi-weekly, I incorporate protein with my shampoo and I deep condition with a steam cap every single time I wash. Simply put: ya girl is TIRED.)