u/Future-Lettuce3224

So, I entered a Writing Battle last month and I got feedback that my style (sentence structure, grammar, etc.) is lacking.

Unfortunately the feedback you get isn’t specific and I’ve reread this lil guy at least 5 times and I think it might be a “you don’t know what you don’t know” situation. I’ll copy and paste the rubric for my lowest score, if anyone wouldn’t mind helping me out. I really want to get better.

- Are there sentences that are awkward, clunky, or hard to parse?

- Is the sentence structure repetitive?

- Are there word choices that feel wrong or imprecise?

- Does the prose flow or are there spots where you found yourself having to reread to get through? (I don’t personally think it’s prose, I scored very high on prose category)

- Any punctuation, grammar, or mechanical issues that pulled you out?

Please don’t feel the need to answer all of these, even just one would be insanely helpful.

Thanks, as always, please DM for the Google doc link if you’re interested. Pretty quick read.

In one month I go back to work after a year off and I don’t want to. I’m exhausted because I sit up all night thinking about how badly I don’t want to go back.

I wish I could have been a SAHM, but financially it’s impossible.

My job isn’t that bad, it’s long shifts (12hr) but that means I’m only gone 3 days a week max. It’s very hard to find a well paying job in my industry and I’m very fortunate to have great benefits. I really shouldn’t be complaining.. but my coworkers are just awful. They’re the type of people that talk about you the second you walk out of a room. I have nothing in common with them (they are all 50+ men). I am dreading the awkward silence and judgemental looks.

I just wanted to yell into the void. If you read thank you for letting me get this out. It’s so hard to complain to anyone because I should be grateful for this opportunity. But if anyone has any advice for transitioning back into the work force or dealing with catty coworkers you have nothing in common with I’m all ears.