Those of you who have gotten married to the love of your life, How has been your experience and how did the things unfold?
How has your relationship changed after married?
What are your tips to the peeps who are getting married to their love?
Hello Guys
Im M26, I think my choice of the title is a bit misleading.
But here's the thing.
I am engaged with a woman I am deeply in love with.
We have been together for the past 5 years and getting married this year.
We are a typical paki family, siblings and parents live together in a good setting.
I travel back and forth between cities as I have to live in another city for my job and I visit home every weekend.
I feel like I am alone, I am a very disconnected type of a person. I have few friends which I have made along the life, most of them have moved abroad. Those who are here, we don't get to see each other very often since we are in different corners of the country, Jobs ;)
I am usually engaged in something, I am either working or I am either gaming. Because as soon as I stop doing anything I feel like I am alone. I only talk to my fiancee as I believe that i should be sharing my deepest things only with her as she will become my wife. But once you realise that she is also a human and has her own life and I dont want to push her. My parents don't understand me, and vice versa.
My siblings are younger than me and I don't share my feelings with them as well.
I dont know what to call this feeling.
It is 1 in the night when I am typing this and at this time I have everything with me that I wanted, but I am empty.
I am very empty, I can fill this void
Please note that I also have Clinical depression.
I am a very blessed guy. Yet I am alone, empty and no one to talk to.
As the title says
There are two issues with my dad.
1- He is cheating on my mom with my cousin ( khala ki beti )
2- He is very violent.
My dad M55 has been in chats with my cousin F29. I caught him first time in 2019. He used to send her his pictures and she the same. Cheap poetry and shit. Please mind that he is a very well earning and handsome old man. I cried that night. I checked his phone, he deleted the chats the next moment. Me and my mom confronted him and he started the ruckus. "Main khud ko mar lu ga", "main bijli ki taarein pkr lu ga" and stuff. I was still in in university back then. He played the victim card. and we all ended up apologising and things sorted out.
Now from that day he lost all his respect, then covid happened he stayed on ventilator and I forgot that the above thing happened. Then one day I caught him again. Told my mon. She confronted, he again played the victim card.
My mom, sisters and brother all hate their family. We never want to visit them. or even meet them. But my dad he is always pushing us to go visit their home and keep on inviting them to our house. One day when they were here my dad took her on a drive. My sister entered the car saying that she wants to go as well. He in very angry tone, asked her to leave the car. My little sister who was in school got traumatised because no one never talks to her like this.
Off and on we were catching him, sometimes on WhatsApp and sometimes on Insta.
He used to chat with her, deletes the chat and block her.
Then unblock her -> chat -> delete chat -> block her
He lost all his respect in my eyes and my sibling eyes. Now last night we got into an argument, he threw the glass out of anger. My brother checked his phone and you guess what. There were her fit checks pictures again.
Now me M26 and my younger brother M23, both make a very handsome amount.
My middle sister is in her final semester and the youngest sister is in her 2nd sem.
We never told this to anyone, this secret remained with us 5 ( mom and siblings ) we have gone through this cycle for the enough times to tell confidently that he can never learn.
I am now talking a step, Dropping my middle sister in dorm, My brother and youngest sister are moving to a flat, since my brother works in the same city as our home.
I work in another city and have my own company provided house. I am dropping my mom at my Chachu's home and me moving back to my workplace.
I am escalating this matter so that his side of family also knows about that he has been doing. I will not let my mom suffer, she has suffered alot in the past 8 years.
Please note that me, my mom, my youngest sister, we all are on anti-depressants. We cant live without them.
guys, can you please suggest something?