u/FurryMLG

Don't joke with the war, damn it. These are different guys. This isn't Germany, this isn't Afghanistan. George, your soldiers will be torn to pieces here, fuck. These are 250,000 elite Iraqi soldiers, fuck! They'll destroy everything, fuck! They'll cross the entire desert in an hour! They'll blow up all your destroyers, all your journalists, all your diplomats! George, you're a cowboy. Stop it, fuck, stop it, hide your bullets away in the warehouse. And forget about your dad! We had one asshole who avenged his brother, and the great Russian Empire collapsed. And there was another weirdo who avenged his grandfather, and the Soviet Union collapsed. And you're going to make the same mistake! Forget your dad, your dad has done his job, fuck. Think about America's future: it's dying! Your young people are fleeing your country! Nobody wants to live there, in America, nobody! You've got a flea market, damn it! Dollars, dollars, dollars! It's... dirty green paper, fuck! You've got no soul, damn it, no music, no writers! The whole world listens to Tchaikovsky, Dostoevsky, damn it. Festivals, sports — only Russia, fuck. And Russia here is Iraq! Here they love the president, and you — they despise you, they fucking despise you! Your predecessor, Clinton, had his fly unzipped right in his office! It's fucking insane that some prostitute was giving him a blowjob in the office of the head of state! Is this America?! You've been fucked up for a long time! What the fuck are you doing?! Monica, for fuck's sake! What kind of president is that?! What war?! What Middle East, for fuck's sake?! Fucking cocksuckers! Masturbators, faggots, for fuck's sake! George! George, watch some cowboy movies. Look at all the corpses, all the blood, fuck! They killed there, they killed here. You're here... I'm telling you: look at the fucking sky, fuck, Baghdad! Baghdad is not Berlin. It's not Kabul! You'll never win here. Because we know these people. We know this president. He's the only one on the entire planet who tells you to fuck off! The only one! Everyone else fucks around in front of you. They line up to bow down to you. And he's been sitting here alone for eleven years! Eleven years of resistance, and you, with your powerful fucking economy, your million-strong army, your fleets, your fucking missiles, can't do a damn thing. You bomb this country every day. You kill children, while Iraqi soldiers sit ready for battle. You are afraid to send your soldiers here. You were afraid eleven years ago, and your father was afraid, too. And the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You will never win! This will be your last defeat! Napoleon lost at Waterloo. And Hitler lost the Battle of Berlin! You will lose at Baghdad. Baghdad is your grave. Got it? You, George, you fucking cowboy! Go back to Texas, to your ranch, drive your Jeep around your... empty lands, and learn Spanish. New York already speaks Russian. We will send another 10 million Russians to America and elect our president in America. And you, George, will get a nice cell in Butyrka. Do you understand, George? Stop in time... And you will never be able to win here. All the Arabs of the world, all the Muslims of the world, all of Eastern Europe, Moscow — are against you. Moscow, Moscow does not want this war, and our president has made it clear to you in Russian: don't you dare shoot at Baghdad! Let's just fucking strike Tbilisi together. Baku! Other cities! We'll find targets on this Earth! So much fucking land! You want us to fucking sink Australia to the bottom of the ocean?! Come on! Want us to show you our missiles? Do you want that? We have weapons: at night, our scientists will slightly alter the Earth's gravitational field, and your country will be underwater. In 24 hours, your entire country will be underwater! The Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. Who the fuck are you kidding? Think about it, damn it! Do you understand how Bonaparte ended up? How Hitler ended up? All the others? You will make a historic mistake. Your father will not be grateful to you. Forget him, your father! Your generals are telling you: don't start a war. It's not too late! It's still June 21, 1941! But if you send your planes to Baghdad tomorrow morning, it will be your own grave, and you yourself will die in this war. And you won't be buried, because you will strike the whole country, the whole of humanity. Six billion people don't want this war. Six. Six billion! You illiterate fool, can you count? One, two, three, four, five, six. Billions. The whole planet is against you. You're the only one who wants war, and that fucking Condoleezza Rice. That half-black bitch who needs a fucking stud. We... came here — we have guys in the Taman Division who will calm her down, fuck. Calm her down, fuck. Calm her down in the barracks overnight! And she won't want war, fuck. She'll choke on Russian cum, fuck. It'll come out of her ears. This isn't Monica Lewinsky — she sucked once, fuck, but here they'll suck her so fucking hard that she'll crawl on all fours to the American embassy in Moscow, fuck. George, stop. George, let's go to the casino in Las Vegas and end it all. Everything is calm in Baghdad.

Invisible man or Invisible Stan

GA voters, would you vote Cody Rhodes for senate?