(Trigger warning)
Okayy.. so long post bear with me.
For context:
I’m F31. My parents and I live in different states.
This is kinda of all over the place so I’m sorry.
Basically my step dad has abused me and my sister growing up,not an every day thing but still. My mom has always allow these things.. so she obviously wouldn’t put us first. I remember when I was younger I did something wrong/bad and he choked me,I told my mom later on they told me it was parenting. I remember being confused as a kid?? Like what?? In my early 20s she told me that they said that bc he’s the adult and I’m the kid so she doesn’t wanna make it look like he’s beneath me?
Some more stories…
Now that I’m older
My mom had a car it owed about 2k on it she told us if we pay it,we(my husband and I) can have the car. Put it in our name. We did that. My in laws helped and my grandma helped us with money bc we didn’t randomly have 2k. Well my step dad used to borrow it bc it was better on gas than his truck. He flipped it,totaled it. Destroyed(he was okay).. I asked them about it.. like what about my car??? My mom looked at me and said “what about it? It was basically a gift” They gave me nothing.
My mom always act like people owe her something. If she does anything for anyone,she expects whatever back.
My step dad goes back and forth one min he’s religious the next he’s not and he picks and chooses. He expects things to be his way(with everything) but if you do anything to “disrespect” him it’s an issue.
For context: I have a daughter(8) and son(5months)
When my daughter was born he asked if we were doing a baptism. I told him no and he got really mad and said I’m disrespecting his beliefs.
When my daughter was about 7months he made a comment that she has a fat a**. I was upset over it bc wtf? After that-My mom and I got into a big fight and she’s like “he is not a p3d0!” I never even used those words but if the shoe fits. She left my apartment.
Last year I was going to send my daughter for the summer I ended up not bc it was so much money bc of her being a minor so we’d have to fly with her,fly back then fly to pick her up and fly back. So it’s a lot of tickets and money. They were livid when I told them I wasn’t and I can’t afford it basically. My step dad sent me a long message that “You’re the parent it’s your responsibility to send her to see us” blah blah blah. Wrong I don’t owe yall anything?
I was pregnant with my son at the time and when I found out his gender my step dad was so salty he literally didn’t wanna talk with me or even care about the gender? He just said congrats all bratty.
Awhile back I sent a school picture to them of my daughter,a class pic. We were all in a group chat and my step dad made the comment that my daughter’s best friend was looking at her weird? “I know he’s a kid but he’s looking at ___ weird. Like he’d go in the woods with her and come out alone” what in the world? They’re kids.
Right after I was on the phone with my mom and I said “why does he say weird shit?” She’s like “I don’t know. He always says weird stuff. You’re not used to it by now?”
Some stories on my sister.. (early 20s)
I really don’t wanna be telling all her business but-
They got a loan out in her name. They didn’t ask her. They called her “hey we got a loan out in your name. We knew you’d say yes so we just did it”
Granted they always pay back loans. But what??? My sister didn’t really say anything to them but was pissed. Of course.
When she was a teen,in our old house- we had a vent in the bathroom down to the basement so it wasn’t connected to anything. You could just see in the basement. My step dad told my sister that he used to watch her through the vent… and his reasoning was he didn’t want her sending nudes to her bf at the time??? What the hell? The reason he told he so many years later is bc he was worried that my mom was gonna tell her so he told her first.
In what world is that okay?
Either way.. my daughter is going to visit this summer. Everything is already planned and paid for. But I’m thinking of cutting them off after. My sister and I are very close. I can’t imagine cutting off your mom.. but like? I feel like she allows and enables him. The vent thing.. she obviously knew about that. The comment about my kid,she knew. My step dad is a weirdo creep and abuser but my mom has always stayed with him. (She’s been with him since I was 5)
There was so many red flags back then too. My step dad has mental health issues and when I was younger he had an episode and went crazy,his parents came to try to calm him bc my mom didn’t know what to do?? He freaked out and was telling them to go,he ended up slicing his dad’s arm with a sword.. I saw all this. Some nice lady from down the road came and got me. There was so many ambulances and cops. I was terrified. Shaking…
They were only dating then.. why did she stay..
Sorry for my long rant and post,but I needed yall to have some context and stories.
Thoughts?