I (30F) am preparing to leave my husband (32M). We’ve been together since high school and have two young children. Our history is complicated...it’s been toxic at times, with a lot of fighting and lack of respect. We both stayed because we "grew up together" and wanted to make it work.
Eight months ago, we moved to a new city (1.5 hours away) for a fresh start. I thought we were doing great; he even told me he felt more secure than ever. Then, a month ago, I found texts on his phone proving he was cheating and planning to meet up with someone.
That was my breaking point. For the last month, I’ve been secretly planning. I’ve secured a job back in our hometown, have a deposit ready for an apartment, and have the kids' spots saved at their old daycare.
I’m stuck on the "how."
- The Timing: Do I tell him the day before I’m leaving? The week before?
- The Conversation: How do you even start a conversation with someone? He's very emotionally reactive.
I’m looking for advice from anyone who has made a "silent exit" or dealt with a long-term partner who was blindsided by a breakup. Any insight on the legalities of moving kids within the same state would also be helpful. He will still get the kids on his off days (he works nights) 4 days on an 4 days off, so his schedule fluctuates, i have no intentions on keeping the kids from him at all, he's a good dad.