My girlfriend and I both still live at home. A while back, I was having issues with my parents and wanted to move out (just renting a room, not fully on my own). When I told her, she got upset and said it wasn’t fair because she wanted us to move out together. She even said things like “how long do I have to deal with my family while you get to leave?” So I stayed, partly because of her and partly because of my situation.
Fast forward a few months, now she wants to move out—but on her own. Recently, my situation at home got worse (it even got physical with my dad), so I brought up the idea of us moving out together like she originally wanted. She said no, she wants to do it alone.
That bothered me because I feel like I gave up that opportunity before for us, and now she doesn’t want the same thing. When I pointed it out, she said she never asked me to stay back then.
We’ve also had issues where she gets upset if I don’t prioritize her, but when she does the same, it’s somehow okay. She’s even talked badly about me with her friends before (we talked it out), and she tends to say I don’t support her if I disagree with her decisions.
Another factor is that she has a lot of support at home (no rent, help with car, insurance, tuition), while I pay for my own things and have worked hard for what I have. I don’t think she fully understands how hard it would be for her to live on her own right now, but when I say that, she takes it as me not supporting her.
Recently she said I was “holding her back.” I told her she’s free to move out if she wants, but I wouldn’t stay in the relationship if she does. Not out of spite, but because I feel like I need to finally put myself first and focus on my own situation instead of constantly compromising.
She says I’m being unfair and making her choose.
So AITA for wanting to break up if she moves out and choosing myself this time?