I have no idea what I’m doing
I’m quite sure I’m doing everything wrong but I have no idea what the right way is.
My Q is a regular drinker. Averages about 2.5 bottles of wine when she drinks. She does occasionally manage to take her Antabuse (about once a week) and takes the night off.
We have a system where before she drinks, she gives me her phone and purse to hide so she can’t order more. So she’ll go to the store or I’ll go for her because it seems easier than fighting about it and buy 2 bottles.
As you can guess, this doesn’t work very well. Once she’s almost done with that second bottle, she starts to freak out at the idea of “sobering up” and decides she needs more in order to be successful the next day.
This is where I’m really stuck. I know I can’t control her or fight her not to - at least I shouldn’t. But just giving her her phone and shrugging my shoulders seems wrong. So does getting it for her - God help me I’ve done that too as I HATE the idea of wasting the extra $20 to have a bottle delivered. She’s threatens to walk the quarter mile to the store in her nightgown when I’ve tried pushing back which I can’t let her do since that doesn’t seem safe.
I know 90% (or more) of this is the wrong way to do this. I’ve done my first Alanon meeting, but I need a better way to maneuver this until I get deeper into the program. Any help is greatly appreciated.