I think I finally figured out why I feel so lonely in this journey
I am 32 and my husband is 30. Pretty healthy, been trying for a year and a half. And in the past 6 months goth pregnant twice first one was a blighted ovum ended in D&C at 8 weeks and second ended in natural MC at 6 weeks.
This whole experience was changed who I am in so many ways but one I didn’t think it could happen … I am a pretty social person and since this has happen I have 0 desire to be social. Like I literally couldn’t care less abt other people’s problems or things going on… like truly I am like yep no I don’t give a fuck! I thought it’s just because I might be sad but I think I finally figured out why…
Last week I saw a Neighboor and she knew abt my Mc we are not super close so when she asked me how I was I just said “yeah we are good still trying to have kids soon but not luck yet” and she responded by saying “well you know there is research showing that there is a correlation that when you relax” … you get the point! … I was so fucking pissed but of course I was nice to her. When we left and the few days after I just kept thinking - well is my fault I should not bring it up. And that’s when it hit me … I don’t wanna be social because I have nothing to talk with people and I just don’t care too much abt others rn. When they ask me what’s up with you I have two options fully lie and try to find something mundane to talk about … or be honest and tell them where I am at … 99% of people if I am honest say stupid shit back or they change the topic. 1% might be gracious and just listen and be nice but even those they have not been on my shoes and I don’t know anyone that has had multiple MC.
Anyways just sharing in case you feel this way too! You are not alone!
Oh and I also figured out yesterday that I am freaking terrified to try again we have taken a pause since my like Mc because we are doing testing and damn I am so scared to try again.
Last thing if you have found how to hold to hope can you please share with me … I’m struggling