How often do you see "Her"?
I cracked my egg back in December. Like throw it on the ground, explode everywhere crack. There was no going back, there was no shell left. Steps moved rapidly from there. I was on HRT 3 weeks later, injections. Was getting a feminine wardrobe. Trying makeup, wearing polish, exploring my feminimity.
Now with the primer out of the way, to the meat and potatoes of my question. Dear redditor on this humble sub, how often you you see "Her" in the mirror? How far along are you in transition? Do you look for her? Does she catch you by suprise?
I ask because I see Her more and more. I do not pass. I don't know if I ever will. But when i go to the bathroom late at night I see her in the dim light of the bathroom. I see her in the mirror at the end of the hall at a glance. I especially see her when I dress in my clothes, the new ones of course.
But also I saw her yesterday, which was jarring. Because yesterday, of my own accord, I decided to dress in my old clothes, decidedly masculine for dinner with my spouse. They didnt ask me to. But before I left, I saw her in the mirror, wearing men's clothes. And in that moment, I know this is the right path.
Imposter syndrome grips most of us from time to time. I certainly struggle with it, especially in moments where I dont "feel" trans, like my experiences and situation invalidates my desire to transition. But moments like this. Where I'm not looking and see her, see ME in the mirror. Its deeply validating. Euphoric.
So tell me. Do you see her? Even when you aren't trying? Do you see her when trying to boymode? Do you see yourself looking into the mirror and know that the woman you were meant to be, is looking back at you?