u/FunBoysenberry6447

Last week on Friday I got a notification from my friend group chat late at night right after coming home from a flight.

One of my friends had taken a lot of stomach medicines because she was having a stomach ache. And they where worried about her potentially OD-ing since she took so many. Since she had 6 in under an hour with now water. And she hadn’t responded in a while.

I didn’t really feel very worried since it was just stomach medicines. So I tried to tell the others to calm down. And I asked my dad who’s a medical professional about his opinion. And he said that as long as she dosent take any more within the next 24 hours she’ll be completely fine.

So I told them that. But then they got really upset at me for not being worried. And then they told me that she had taken more for some reason. Then I started to get worried.

Then they got really upset at me and called me a hypocrite which I probably was Im not sure. Then I tried to deescalate the situation by just instantly admitting I was in the wrong trying to focus on the situation. But I phrased it poorly and they said I was making it all about myself.

Then I apologized again. And it turned out our friend was completely fine. She had just dozed off a little. Was completely afterwards.

So I apologized and I decided to give them a break from me so that I could properly reflect on my actions which I did for two days. And I wrote a lengthy apology to them. But they didn’t accept me and they don’t want to be my friends anymore.

And they’ve decided to kick me out of the group tomorow. But one of them wanted to keep contact. But now im really scared and nervous to mess up again.

Especially after I had been a hypocrite again today. When I said I was uncomfortable with a scissoring joke she made. Then she called me a hypocrite since I made a joke about scissoring some weeks prior, after asking for consent before making it.

So ive decided im gonna work on myself and stop being such a hypocrite. And I’m not to sure where to start. I would like advice if that’s ok. Im sorry if not.

Thank you for your time and im sorry

A few months ago I broke two peoples boundaries both unintentionally. But I didn’t realize because they never told me and I didn’t pick up on any signs due to having autism. And I found out from them spreading bad rumors about me and getting a drunk guy to try and beat me up with those rumors.

One of them I tried to help by adjusting her bra strap thinking I was being helpful. I didn’t ask nor did I realize what I had done was bad.

Another time I was trying to cheer people up by giving them compliments but one of the people I gave a compliment too thought I was hitting on her.

I later found out and I profusely apologized for what I had done. And ive started asking for consent every time I wanna make physical contact with anyone to make. And I ask them when I meet them if they have any boundaries I should keep in mind. Which kinda sucks because my love language is physical touch such as hugs because I love them. But I’ve realized that it’s better to prioritize other peoples comfort over me wanting to express affection towards them.

But I still feel really guilty about what I did even tho I apologized. I still feel like a bad person. How do I overcome this?

I was working on my Cheshire Cat inspired puppet for this project presentation for the end of the semester when I graduate 10th grade. And I was stitching up my puppets neck trying to be as fast and efficient as possible cuz the deadlines not that far away and I have lots of things to do.

I go to school of mostly neurotypical people.

So I was sewing when one of the teachers told me to clean off the table because it was soon lunch time. I just needed a little more time to finish. But she kept telling me to clean up over and over again.

So I started stressing because of the deadline and I almost melted down there but I managed to calm down and clean up. Deciding to finish the stitching during lunch.

When it was lunch time it was mashed potatoes and sausages. But they had but carrots and Belle peppers in it so I didn’t want to eat it.

Then later that same teacher told me to stop stitching and talk to other people. And I told her to leave me alone. Then she said I needed to talk to her more properly but I just repeated myself but she didn’t listen and I got upset and I got up and I told her: “ what don’t you understand about leave me alone” and I started stressing about the deadline and not being able to finish the puppet this week which was the goal.

Because if not it would take more time than Sedward my large Satyr puppet I made in February. And he took around 5 days of straight work. So he’s like my standard for how long i should generally take to make a puppet.

And she told me to eat but I didn’t want to because of the mashed potatoes and I couldn’t take it and started melting down in the eating room. And my teacher just sent me into a different room which was a just cold enough to the point it was annoying me.

And I just sat down into the wall and cried. And I got so frustrated I hit my head against the window multiple times and slapped my knee really hard.

After a little while after that my other teacher who is a teacher showed up and got me sausages with ketchup which I watched Popcross studios on YouTube during break hour.

It was special art and antics episode with with Low-fi backround sound. So I calmed down a lot easier. I ate 8 sausages.

And later I got a hug from my comfort friend. Even tho she didn’t have too. But I had a headache a little while after.

I also figured out what to do with my puppet situation. I’ll work on them at home as well.

I feel bad about having a meltdown at school. I just hope that people don’t think I’m weird because of it. It was really embarrassing in hindsight.

I have high functioning autism

I used to hang out with this group of other teens at this hang out place for young people in my city. Cuz I don’t have that many friends outside of school.

And there I got in a discussion with one of them. Because he wanted to engage in underage drinking. Which I really didn’t like because I don’t think breaking the law is a good idea. Plus last time I was there some other people got really drunk and tried to beat me up.

So I tried telling him that it was a bad idea to do underage drinking. And he called me a goodie two shoes. And it was similar with the other people there. A lot of them smoked and vaped which I tried telling them was bad because some of them where even 13-14 years old. And they said I should stop worrying because it doesn’t affect me.

But I still get a bad feeling in my stomach whenever people break the rules just a little. Like today my friends were planning on getting energy drinks. Eventho the age minimum for energy drinks in my country is 16 and they aren’t 16. I am but I dont wanna buy them energy drinks because that’s against the rules. But one of my friends who is also 16 was going to give them to my friends who aren’t 16 yet.

And it reminded me of the underage drinking discussion. And I got that nagging feeling in my stomach again. And I know those two things are different. Since alcohol and smoking is way way way worse than drinking energy drinks. But I still get that feeling.

Is this a good thing? Or a bad thing? An if it is. How can I overcome it?