So, I am graduating in about a month and a half. Recently, I saw some posts on Instagram & X about Masters degree being about guilt or may be regrets..something like that. While I do plan on getting a masters degree but those posts got me thinking. I do feel guilty and I do have some regrets about my university life.
I think I never experienced the university life to its full extent. I spent 4 years just rotting away in my room on my bed watching God knows how many movies and TV shows. I am not that social. I hate people tbh. I even hate my class. I just dealt with people only when required. I joined the music society. It was fun in the beginning even though I hated interacting with other society members. But the society has been dead for the last two years. So the only activity I had taken a part in was gone. Avoided sports altogether.
My grades aren't great either. I was thinking that this piece of paper will have my grades on it for the rest of my life and they aren't worth mentioning. I should have worked harder at least more than what I had been doing during these years and God knows it wasn't enough, nowhere near enough. But the time has gone now and I have to live with this fact that I fucked up.
I desperately want to blame the circumstances or may be the way I was raised. I had a strict environment at home. Not the extreme kind but I wasn't allowed to step foot outside of my home nor was I allowed to play outside. Thats why I avoid people and never even tried to play sports. I was nurtured this way. But blaming circumstances other than myself would be easy escape right? I am to blame for missing out and not leaving my comfort zone.
Other than that I had no luck with freelance and internships as well despite trying hard. So, bad grades, no social life, no activities, no sports no freelance gigs and no internship experience. Yeah, this pretty much sums up my four years at the university.
Anyways, I needed to get this off my chest. Lets hope for the best.