u/Frustrated_adult-_-

I wanna greet everyone in this Sub a Happy Mother’s Day and to my mom as well hehe. Not sure if I am in the right sub but I wanna see maybe in the perspective of Mothers - where is my mom coming from. Hopefully wag mapost sa ibang Sub. Sorry mahaba. 

So me and my mom had disagreements na madaming beses. For context I am already working - a 29F - went abroad last 2 years ago - nandon ako for about 4 years living alone (but my eldest brother is also there hindi lang kami same house) and working until I decided to go back. One of the main reasons bat ako umuwe is I think mas makakatulong ako sa bahay and I feel a bit sad thinking na pag ofw ka pala you will only see your parents how many times lang kasi nga once a year lang umuwe and they are growing old. Isa din was that I never saw myself settling a family there ehh for some reason - its not my country. 

When I went back here hindi ganun kalaki agad sahod ko - but I am so lucky that for some reason my parents allowed my BF to live with us since same din kami ng work as WFH. Its like I started again with my career - but again di naman ako natengga ng matagal when I went home. 

We shared in the bills sa bahay roughly around 30% (samin to dalawa ng partner ko), my eldest brother na nasa abroad shares the same 30% while my 2nd brother who’s here with us shares around 40%. Lahat un - Utilities, food and may loan kami recently para sa bahay na to. Which is halos 40% ng budget na yan dun lang napupunta. 

Our house is decent naman ngayon I would say - hindi tapos ung 2nd floor puro walls lang and may bubong but not livable. Last year my 2nd brother and my mom decided to get a loan nga to get this house fix - ayun nga para lagyan ng walls ung 2nd floor at bubong - mahirap nga naman kasi pag umuulan. That moment nasa abroad ako nun I mentioned to them - for me wag muna kasi hindi pa stable job ako and I cannot commit for 3 years in paying that loan kumbaga let me be free from any burden muna kasi kawawa naman ung 2 kong kuya if di ako makabayad. They still push through ayaw namin that time nung eldest brother ko nasa abroad din. 

Sabi ko nalang sige Ill commit with little portion lang tutal wala naman ako mamanahin sa bahay at lupa na to. Kasi nga before my mom used to say na wala syang any property na ibibigay sakin kasi nga my 2 older brothers should get it. Kasi nga lalaki sila - sila ang dapat my bahay. No argument about that as a ‘Babae’ naintindihan ko naman yon. Kaya nga mula noon ang mindset ko talaga is makabili ng sarili kong bahay pagtanda ko. Kumbaga it is always in my head - saan kayang lugar - anong style kaya ng bahay ko - how I wanted it to look like. 

So ngayon nga nagkadisagreements kami - before ang issue ni mama is kulang ang budget sa bahay. Hindi pa ganun kalaki sahod namin ng BF ko kasi we’re still trying our best talaga para mapromote/maincrease - kaso wala pa hopefully sa June (for idea were hoping for a 6 digit each figures to be financially able sa bahay na to at ofcourse naghehelp din kami sa side ni BF). Nung nandito ung eldest brother ko kinausap nya kami ni mama. She was saying na hirap na hirap syang magbudget mag kanya kanya na daw kami and all. Were all living in the same roof ahh. Sya nag aasikaso ng lahat like food and laba. Habang kami Working. Ayun nga nung umuwe kung eldest brother ko sabi nya kulang nga daw ang budget. Hindi ko alam paano ko ieexplain pero in my head kasi alam ko na ang dami na naming binibigay na pera talaga. And if that is not enough we can no longer give anything anymore. Kaya ang ending ng disagreement na yon is sinasabi ko sa kanya na magtipid tayo - bawas sa ulam - bawas sa paglalaba. 

After that night - I felt bad - hindi yon first time na ganun ang nangyari eh. Nandito ung kuya ko nakabakasyon - once a year lang un umuwe - I know how it feels to be 

an OFW - I know how excited sya to go back home tapos ganun pa mangyayare. Naawa ako nun sa kanya kasi nandito sya sa bahay na sobra sobrang sacrifice din ang binigay nya mula nung umalis sya until now. And yet hindi sya makakakaen. What he does non is aalis sya ng hapon - magiikot ikot - kakain sa labas tapos maliligo if need nya then aalis nalang ulit. Ramdam ko ung bigat how my mom made him feel nung time na yon its as if na “Hindi mo ko bibigyan ng sapat na pera then dont eat here”. It wasn’t the first time for my eldest brother nun ehh - may time din noon na ilang months syang hindi kinakausap ni mama. Kasi nga she obligated him na magpadala. Yung kuya ko syempre he’s living alone don - hindi maintindihan ni mama na kailangan nyang asikasuhin sarili nya - mga needs nya - hobbies - ganun ba. 

1 month lang yon nandito kuya ko. Then months after that eto nga nagaway nanaman kami. Main reason is she opens up again about getting a loan after this loan - so next year un. My initial reaction was whattt loan nanaman?? - nagkaproblem na nga tayo sa budget budget tapos babalik nanaman sa ganung situation? For context din kasi nung paguwe ko nasira ung washing machine nya na automatic. So we decided (me and my 2nd brother) na bumili ng bago and medyo malaki since madami nga kami dito. And so there it is a 14kg automatic washing machine. Pero as days pass napapansin ko everyday sya naglalaba - not just once a day ah. So pinagsabihan ko na damihan nya ung sinsalang nya para makatipid tsaka isang scoop lang ng downy - hindi dalawa. I think she didn’t listen at all. Pati sa pagbili ng ulam - hindi kami nakakatipid kasi I know ang daming natitira. Bumibili na nga lang ng lutong ulam - hindi pa matipid or sakto lang ang bilhin. 

So yeah after nung away na un bumalik nanaman sya sa idea nya na ayaw na nya kami asikasuhin. Except sa 2nd brother ko at sa bunso namin na babae. Nung unang fight namin - sabi namin magkakapatid - hindi namin gusto na magkanya kanya kasi ang panget nung idea na nagdadamutan at nagbibilang ng pagkaen. Kumbaga eto saken - saken lang. Ayaw namin ehh. Ngayon na 2nd fight ganun nanaman sya. And since napuno na din ako nag agree nalang ako. Binalik nya ung budget namin ng Bf ko para sa food ehh. Sabi din nya maglaba kami tuwing weekend - paano ko naman gagawin un kung naglalaba din sya - wala kaming sariling sampayan means I need to share with what she owns. Pati sa pagkaen as if naman makakaluto kami lagi. hindi kasya sa kalan namin na madaming nagluluto and as working kami - sobrang limited lang ng window time namin para makagawa ng household chores. And ayoko naman makaabala sa kanila or mag adjust sila para samin. kasi kanya yon ehh bahay nya to. 

So here it comes na ang bigat nanaman sa pakiramdam. I always look up to my mom talaga ever since - lagi ako nakikinig sa payo nya. Sa ways nya kung paano gumawa ng household things - pagluluto and all. I decided to go home kasi nga I wanted to be better. Ayoko na hindi ko sila tutulungan pero when I am abroad kasi I am not that earning very well kasi inaasikaso ko pa sarili ko. Umuwe ako kasi akala ko when I am here, I can help them, at the same time pwede nila ako isabay sa pag aasikaso nila so I can focus on earning more money (kumbaga makapag work ng mas maayos and makapag review sana to take this specific certification) kaso ngayon it is slowly sinking in na I can never do that pala :( 

Ang bigat sa pakiramdam na kaya pala nya un gawin. Were living in the same house pero she was like - kayo na bahala sa pagkaen nyo at paglalaba niyo. We dont even have our own Stove, Ref, or Washing machine. I mean kaya nga kami nandito para makatipid tayong lahat - pero bakit ganun na parang kami pa pala ung naging pabigat. As if we are not helping? Are we really that a burden to her? Ang pinaka kinaiinisan ko siguro is ayoko magtanim ng galit ehh pero bakit ganun ginawa saken. I would never do that to her. Sadyang I just need time to be better to earn better to provide better. Kaso wala iniwan kami sa ere.             

Naiintindihan ko naman ung part na sooner naman talaga we really need to do this for ourselves. Nagawa ko naman na ehh when I am living alone. Pero I went home ehh kasi need ko ng help. Required ka na nga magbigay ng pera - tapos yung help na isabay ka sa pagbili ng ulam just because were working from home - wala hindi pa maibigay. 

My dad and my 2nd brother is against this situation ehh - my dad understands na kailangan namin ng help kasi nga nagttrabaho kami. ung kuya ko naman na nandito has been generous enough para sa parents ko pag may kailangan sila or nashort sila which always happens. 

Me and BF eto ahm surviving naman. I also have a senior dog din na may cancer na I needed to bring back to vet para sa Chemo nya. Ewan I feel sad na hindi manlang kaya un naiisip ng mom ko? I feel like tinatrato nya kaming 3 magkakapatid na parang si papa. Na bawal kumontra - bawal magka savings - lahat ng pera all out dapat sa kanya. Alam ko naman na nasanay sya ng ganun - pero we are also adult now. Magkaiba kami ng isip sa dad ko - we need to think about our future din - ako specifically kasi 29 na ako. Pero bakit ganun never manlang nya ako naisip na baka gusto namin magpakasal or mag baby? Bilang nanay bakit hindi ko nakukuha ung ganun? I know for a fact never nya naexperience yon sa mga Lola ko on both sides - kasi noon all support sila nun sa parents ko. Bakit samin ganito ang bigat? Sila nga hindi tumutulong sa pagaalaga or financially sa parents nila then they expect so much from us? Ganun ba talaga? Ako ba ung mali dito? When I am earning well hindi ko naman sya nakakalimutan - I am always the promotor ng mga surprises for her - tapos ung 2 brothers ko we share sa gastos. Yet ang tingin nya saken “Iba ugali” Idk ang bigat bigat sa pakiramdam. 

I really wanna move out asap - wala palang talagang enough funds tsaka torn pa ako sa dog ko if ipapachemo ko sya.

Sa mga Nanay sa sub na ito - think of me as your kid. Please dont put your kids to this situation like ours kasi hindi naman dapat diba :( 

So - as the title mentioned - ang ganda pala ng University Series and why I encountered it? Honestly through clips of GSOT and natuwa ako, kinilig at naiyak hahaha.

I am not a reader kasi ever since - if may nabasa man ako sa wattpad SDTG lang and that was nung HS pa ako. Kilig na kilig din ako don kaya sobrang disappointed ko nung ginawan sya ng adaptation ng Kathniel kasi although the story is there - sobrang minadali and ang daming missed scenes that I would really want to see talaga - like ung part don na may sakit si bee pero alam na din ni Athena na may sakit sya pero never nya minention kay Kenji - tapos she was crying and saying na ako din naman may sakit ahh why cant he take care of me. Yung mga ganong eksena haha.

For the University series naman - again I first watched GSOT kasi ang promising ng trailer and hindi cringe ang acting nila - over time nagulat nalang ako natapos ko sya. Tapos nagulat nalang ako sabi ng kapatid ko (we didn't know anything about the Uni Series) meron daw mga kanya kanyang series ung friends ni Via - and nagulat nanaman ako! meron nga HAHA. So now were watching The Rain in Espana. Nakakatuwa lang na ung isang Series that I watched - na I thought un lang sya - and dami pala. Nakakabitin naman kasi talaga ung GSOT. And kudos to the Writer, I've read somewhere din na you can read the books in any order din, just like what happened to me and my sister. We watched GSOT and parang hindi naman sya naging spoiler to Rain in Espana.

Again - I am just sharing this as a Jealous Reader Kuno. Ewan ko ba when I was in Highschool or college Tinry ko naman magbasa basa pero ang hirap for me naffrustrate ako if hindi ko sya matapos. And then mamadalain ko and maffrustrate ulit pag tapos na HAHA. Tapos hindi ko sya maisabay sa Acads. So yeah sa mga nakabasa ng University Series before it was hyped/adapted to films Im jealous of y'all hahahahha. Nakakakilig bumalik sa College life.

For Viva naman and other authors - sana bigyan pa ng mas malalaking budget ang mga wattpad writers. Grabe Walang any movies/series nowadays na kayang sabayan ung mga stories na to like AMSE or eto nga University Series. Kumbaga the potential is there ang ganda na ng GSOT - even Rain in Espana (although nasa 3rd episode palang kami) pero I think it would've been better kung mas pinaglaanan ng time and budget parang mga Kdrama series pa. Sana Viva could do that. Pati ung Directors din sana they could stick to 1. Kasi tulad ng AMSE medyo nagiba ung atake ng S2 Editing/ligthing? sakit sa mata - nawala ung natural feels vibes like school vibes diba. HAHA

Ayun SKL - also sa mga nakabasa na ng Univ Series - should I try reading them? kahit napanood ko na ung iba?