i (26F) have been visiting my family this past week. i live across the country from them and see them maybe once or twice a year. my dad (58M) had been acting strange all week. he had been making not so subtle comments about being depressed, how nobody truly “knows” him, and that he’s been miserable. my dad and i have been very close my whole life so i’ve been aware that his mental health has been deteriorating and have been as supportive as i can be. he has been going to therapy for a few weeks now. now for the matter at hand:
my dad and i went alone to the beach yesterday. he decides to open up to me that he’s bisexual and said that he feels like i’m the only one who will understand where he’s coming from (i’m also bisexual.) i told him i was very proud of him and that i’ll always love/support him. i was hoping that would be the end of it, but NOPE. he goes on to say “i shouldn’t be telling you this, but…” and tells me how for the past 3 years he has been in a relationship with a man and they are in love. the issue? HES BEEN MARRIED TO MY MOM FOR 25 YEARS. she has no clue. my dad spent the next hour or so at the beach telling me all about his affair partner and their relationship. i tried being supportive because i understand how difficult these things can be, but i can’t help feeling like he has put me in a shitty situation. now, i can’t even look at my mom without feeling horrible guilt. i feel like she deserves to know, but at the same time i’d be betraying my dad. my dad told me him and his affair partner ended things a month ago, but idk. although my mom and i have a complex relationship, i do love her and don’t think she deserves this bullshit.
so yeah, i’m not sure what to do. i feel like either way it’s a lose-lose and i’m really angry at my dad for putting me in this situation.